I’m Ready To Get My Education On

So it has happened. (Is that even correct grammar?).

*Drum roll*

I know this isn’t as exciting for you as it is for me, but why don’t you just let me enjoy this moment as long as I can. That’s a statement not a question by the way.

News: I got in school. 

I am so excited! I know people don’t usually get excited for school but I’m ready to get my education on. I think it was about two days ago that I was called by my career coach from the unemployment offices that I was approved to be financially covered for school.

Without this help I wouldn’t have been able to go back. Actually, untrue. I still would have gone. But I would have gotten in grave debt. I need this education. Even though its not your IV league school or a degree that will get me the most well paid job. Still, for me its something big. Its education nonetheless.

I value education. I just never had the opportunity to get it. I know that sounds like, oh sure, everyone can get an education you probably didn’t try hard enough to get it. Lies. Sometimes you just can’t go to school. For what ever the reason is. Its just not the right time, maybe you have to be the provider for your family, or other reasons, and that’s ok.

I’m so very great full that I was able to get this opportunity. I will try my best to make the most of it.

I’m ready, I’m excited.

Busy Beaver

What a busy Monday.

I haven’t been a little busy beaver in a while. It was a good busy though, not the rip-your-hair-out-make-it-stop type of busy. I had my moments of frustration, yes, and I am currently starving because I have been up and around all day, but aside from that. For breakfast I only ate a sandwich with a turkey patty my mom had cooked in the ungodly morning hours she woke up at. I’ll have to go buy me a burger as a prize for the good boy I have been today. That sentence is all types of wrong.

Anyway, I went to the unemployment office in another city in the morning. The one that is closest to me gave me an appointment for the beginning of September. SEPTEMBER. No. Just no. I need to get things moving. I called the one that was a city over and they said they took walk ins. Perfect.

Funny thing is that I didn’t have everything I needed. But the 45 minute drive was nice. Belting out a good song or 20 while watching the cows on the side of the road is pretty therapeutic. I hope I didn’t scare any.

I had to drive back to town and get the info I needed from home. I also had to print some documents out at the library since I don’t have a printer at home. Soon I was headed back to the unemployment offices and the cows had no other option than see me zoom by.

Everything seemed to be going well, perfect I’d say. But that’s always how it seems. There was a mistake on one of the documents that my school had provided me. So I also had to go back to school and have them change it.

Guess what? They already had. It was no ones fault actually. The information was taken from a government website that both the EDD office and the school use. It was just having a glitch. The person who could fix my paper work had already left for the day, but the people at the school really tried their best to help. Even the vice principal came out of her office and spoke to my career coach.

Did I explain why I needed to do all this? No huh? It’s all ramble and nonsense. Uh, well, so I don’t quality for financial aid from the federal government. But since I am unemployed they have benefits that can pay for my school. And today I almost did the impossible for that to happen, but as they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day. It was built in two. SO, I have the rest of tomorrow to get all this paperwork situated.

I also had to write an essay on why I needed the financial help and how it was going to help me. All this seems boring and trust me it was somewhat, that’s why I needed to get it done. Plus, school starts in two weeks and I need to have everything ready in time.

If I don’t get approved for what ever weird reason, or if the universe decides it would be a nice little joke, I will have a meltdown.

Severe Anxiety With A Sprinkle Of Depression

I finally saw a therapist.

Yes a real one. Not the one I made up in my head a couple months ago. Although, I’d say that session with myself did rather go pretty well.

Anyways, It was different. Last year I saw a counselor at my local doctors office that my doctor had recommended me. I went for maybe about three weeks but for some random reason I never went back.

This time I didn’t want a counselor. I wanted someone, I’d say, with a little more experience and expertise. And I was able to find one.

I took a test at the beginning, which was random, but it was mostly about how I was feeling, what I was going through, and other random question about my days to day.

Then we went over it and the therapist asked me to go more in-depth on why I felt the way I felt. It’s not easy to talk about things with a total stranger but I really didn’t have anything to lose, so I let my mouth run, and boy did it ever.

In the end, she finally told me what I had. She said I have severe anxiety with a little sprinkle of depression. Well isn’t that cute? Those weren’t words but it sounds less scary that way for me.

She asked me about medication and if I was willing to take any. In my head I’ve always told myself I didn’t need any. I’m fine. I don’t want to be crazy and taking pills all the time. I see on tv all these people going bonkers because they take pills, or hear how people hate taking them.

I told her that I was worried in doing so but if it helped, then I was willing to try. She told me that mental health issues depicted on TV are taken to the extreme and are not that accurate.

I’m starting off with this one med that I don’t really know the name of [it’s at the pharmacy still because I’m still nervous to take it. (Side note: isn’t it ironic that my own anxiety is stopping from taking anxiety medication for my anxiety? I just thought that was funny)].

She told me all the benefits of what she prescribed, and all the side effects. Also, she said that not every medication is meant for everyone so we might have to see what works for me. She gave me her contact info to keep her updated since according to her the first few weeks were critical.

So that along with something called CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) that I should see improvements, but things don’t happen over night. With due time. But for that to happen I have to start taking the meds.

I hope they help, I hope all this helps.

My Priority

Relationships are hard to maintain. I’m talking about all of them. Not just romantic ones.

My friend group mainly consists of females. I have a couple of guy friends here and there and if I was going out I would mainly choose them. With my female friends we usually see each other in groups and don’t text every single day. I love them and even though we only see each other at least once a month we all know that we are there for each other and we still have that strong bond of friendship there between us.

Now that I am dating, a female, I should add. This sort of has to change. My time is more for my girlfriend now. I’m not saying I’ll forget my friends. I’m just saying that if my GF would like to hang out and do something, she is now my main priority. Its not like we’ve been dating for just some weeks. I’ve known her for years and I have been dating her on and off for almost a year now.

I understand how this could leave my other friends feeling with a sense of abandonment. Here I am always at my friends feet ready for what ever they need, always available for what ever event they have planned. Want to go out and grab a bite? Sure I’m there. But now its different. I don’t walk alone. I have a significant other I have to think of. If I feel the relationship is going somewhere I am the type of person to invest even more time in that relationship.

She is the same. Her friend group mostly consists of guys. One of the things that I really like about her is that she gets along with every one, but very girly girls seem to get on her nervous. Plus she’s more out doors too, and active. So she has a lot of guy friends.

When we started dating the first time back in the beginning of the year I saw how she distanced herself from some of her guy friends. Not as much as to not speak to them anymore, but more out of respect for me. Later on, we all came to discover that one of her friends that later became a friend of mine actually wanted to get with her. I saw it from a mile away but she didn’t. Get my point?

I’m not saying that people with opposite sexual preferences can’t be friends.  They can, it has worked. I’m just saying its very possible that the relationship that those two individuals hold may become more than  just a friend ship without either of the two parties knowing about it.

If this is all too complicated, you can blame my brain because obviously somethings loose up in there.

I just wish that some friends would understand that just because we don’t communicate ever single day, that doesn’t mean that the friendship is over. We can still chat from time to time, even go out to eat and talk for a bit.

But I am with some one now. My priority is them. That is how I think.

Not to mention all the other random things I have going on in my life right now. Give me a break, I am only one person and I can only divide myself into so many people.

School

Going back to school is hard. Not impossible, but very hard.

First you have to think of what school you want to attend. You also have to research the school and make sure it is a good one, not to mention the fact that they should have the classes that you want and or need for what ever it is that you want to end up doing.

Money. You have to love and hate it. They say money doesn’t buy you happiness but is sure as hell going to buy you an education. School is expensive, if someone told you other wise they are lying. The good thing is that you can find a lot of financial help, you just have to look for it.

Wednesday I went to a tour of a college I was interested in. Long story short, I hated it. The counselor (or what ever her job was) lady, was very unspecific and would never get to the point of the question she was asked. So I go up and left.

I researched the hell out of the next schools I was interested in. I narrowed it down to three. I checked reviews, testimonies, I looked at their credentials, I even took it as far as calling in and seeing how I would be treated on the phone by who ever answered.

I finally narrowed it down to one school and I went for that one. I made an appointment for an orientation which included a math and reading test (which I passed with flying numbers, I know I was shocked too). I got a tour of the school and even a little back ground info of the teacher that I would be with.

Over all it was a really good experience. I was hella nervous. Why? Because that’s just my personality trait now. But, I went and it went really well.

I will be attending the school for about ten months. I will get and certificates to be able to do office work ect ect. One of the main reasons I chose this school is that they partner with business and have internships. They’re graduation rate and after school employment rate is really high. Its very disappointing hearing people study for so long and once they are finished with school they can’t find employment. That was one of my biggest concerns too.

Another thing I really liked is that all the tools will be provided. I will just have to pay the tuition. That’s where things get a little dicey. I am not a citizen (YET), but I am legal to be here so back off trump. I have been here since I was one year old, so this is all I know.

With that being said, I don’t qualify for federal financial aid what so ever. But since I am unemployed there should be help that I can receive. According to the people at the school I went to. I already made an appointment to go to the unemployment offices on Monday. If not I’m sure there are many other forms of financial help I can pursue. What matters is that I go to school, and I’m going.

Everything is moving really fast but at the same time it is moving rather slow, if you know what I mean. I need to get my school transcripts and it looks like those wont come in the mail within five days, even though I’d like them now.

But hopefully everything starts working out for the best and life just moves along like it always does.