I used to have many,
well not many just a few, and by few I mean like two, friends. No, but in all seriousness I didn’t have many ‘pals’. I met them all in my first job. Fast food. And I didn’t really “meet” them there, I actually just reconnected with them. Some I know since school and hadn’t seen in years and some it was the first time I was meeting.
Even though it was hell working at that hell hole
that will remain nameless because it deserves no promotion whatsoever I am great full of the few people I met while being there. But as time goes by and life gets to you how it got to me, we all started to drift apart. I tried reaching out but it didn’t work because I had burned bridges and there was no way of getting over it.
But the time has come, I am in a new place. Not literally of course. What I mean is that I feel somewhat better about how things are going. I have a second job on the way and my mom seems to be getting better by the day. All that’s next on my list for a better life is fix the friendships I left hanging while I was down on the grown.
I was thinking that they should be the ones coming for me. But really I was the one that pushed them away. And even if I didn’t, if I wanted them back in my life shouldn’t I make the first move as well?
Tomorrow I have a little date with a friend who just came back from spending eight months out of the country in her parents county of origin. She just came back two days ago, I think I haven’t seen her in a year now and I was really close to her. I can’t wait to see how she is doing and tell her everything that has gone on.
Also Friday. I’m hanging out with Jenny and Mina. Jenny I saw a week ago when we went to the park to walk Elis dog. But mina I also haven’t seen in a year. She said she really missed me and missed hanging out with me. My heart broke a little because I see how they all felt when I was locking them out. I have to start playing the victim and own up to the shit I have been doing. Maybe that way I can move forward.
I’m excited about this new place I’m in. On my way to a new me. Not a new me yet but I’m working on it.