I Will Be Heartbroken

My stomach is rumbling, and it’s not gas, it’s just full of emotions.

Today my boss did not come to work and neither will she be in tomorrow. She took today and tomorrow off to take care of some things. I have been in my position for a little under two weeks and I still don’t know half of what I should. That is only because there is so much to learn, and I will not be able to learn it in such a short period of time, but I’m getting there slowly.

The only thing that is kind of making me nervous is the Manager meeting that I will sit in to give the numbers for our department. I am not as nervous as I thought I would be which is good. But at the same time, I wouldn’t like to mess up in front of the big bosses.

Yesterday I spent some time with two of my friends. We went to Starbucks and gossip about our love lives and what not. One of them is going to Europe. She’s is going to be in Spain, there she will visit Madrid and Barcelona. And yes, I am very jealous, Spain is one of my favorite places, even though I have yet to visit. She says she thinks she’s in a relationship but her and her boo have not yet talked about it. I’m happy for her.

My other friend just came back from the Anime Expo in Los Angles. She brought me back a pin from the Death Note. I love that anime. I’m not that into anime but I do watch some here and there. She also told us about her dating life. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of six years. She’s not ready to get into a relationship yet, she said she just wants to date and have fun.

As for me, well I told them that I fell for yet another guy who will end up breaking my heart. It’s not his fault though. He straight up told me that he was leaving, because of work. I was the one who said who cares let’s enjoy this while it lasts. And honestly, as the days go by and we keep in contact I’m already starting to see how hard it’s going to be to see him go. I will be heartbroken to say the least.

I have a friend that went to visit where he mother came from. There she fell in love with some guy and she didn’t come back for a long time, almost a year. All of our friends told her she was stupid for doing so. I must confess that I also took part in telling her she was dumb for falling for someone who is in another country.

She came back and they broke up. One year later she had to go back to fix some issues her family was having with their properties over there, and guess what happened? Yup, she’s still over there. But, now that I am in this situation I had to call her and tell her that I finally understood why. Why she would do such a thing as to fall in love with someone who she isn’t supposed to. Or was she?

Was I? I want to think that it’s just infatuation. That when he leaves the feeling of wanting to be near him will vanish. That the feeling of wanting to talk to him every second I breath will evaporate. That the image of his smile and beautiful eyes will disappear from my brain. That his laugh will no longer ring in my ears and the sound of his beating heart won’t be there anymore.

I am in too deep now.

2 thoughts on “I Will Be Heartbroken

  1. I have known my husband since I was twelve years old. His family moved back and forth from Indiana to North Carolina (where I live) … they moved back to Indiana in 1999 and stayed gone until 2004. Moved back here, stayed for eight months, and then moved back to Indiana where they stayed until 2012. They would drive the 12 hours to come visit and I would see the family once every few years (I was in love with my husbands brother at the time – he was my first love) …. and one day, while they were down here, the earth shifted off of its axis when I looked at my husband in this completely different light that I never had before. It really was one of those cliche movie moments where you just know that person breathes for you.

    Long story short … I pursued him, I was the one that told him I loved him, first. He moved here, we had plans to get married, eight months later he broke my heart and moved back to Indiana and I felt like a body part had been severed. He stayed gone for a year and a half before he realized that things just didn’t make sense if we were together.

    Point being – nothing is crazy if you feel it enough. Distance means absolutely nothing where the heart is concerned. We have advanced far too much in the miracle of traveling to let something like ruin the chance at what we deserve. So don’t write it off as done and over, if you don’t want to. It can be done.

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    • Sorry for the late response. Thank you for all that, I appreciate it. And I understand. For now I feel like I’m holding on to this and going supper fast only because I know it will end. I really can’t do long distance relationships because I live off of affection and attention which I probably should but I just love to be loved as well as give it out. And right now it’s just perfect having each other for the moment is nice. What the future holds we don’t really know but we’ll get there once we get there 🙂

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