I went on a date yesterday. No, not a dinner or anything fancy but it was nice. I met this guy like I do most guys online, talk to him and add him on my social media. I basically have to figure out if it’s safe or not to meet him. I want to have fun but I don’t want to die.
The plan was to meet up at Jack in the box and eat, I’m a cheap date honestly. But that didn’t work out so I just met up at his work. Speaking of his work he’s the one that got my brother the job at the same place he works at. So I felt like I kind of owed him a date. Sounds bad but I had a good time.
I honestly thought I was only going to to see him once, but I’ll be seeing him again today, he has a really nice smile and I kind of actually liked him. I’m not gonna say that I fell for him because I didn’t. I just like looking at his face. (LoL).
Tomorrow I have another date with another guy I’ve been talking to. He seems really cute but for some reason he swears every guy he meets blows him off and never speaks to him again. I want to know why. Not that it matters much but he’s not fat, he’s really sweet, and he’s cute. Why would guys run from that? I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.
Saturday I have another brunch/movie date with the guy I met (sexually drunkenly made out with) at the club a while back. I have a feeling he’s going to cancel for some reason , he’s cute too but I would mind. These threes dates I’m under a week can get to me. Plus I have a lot of stuff to do in between all this dating.
I honestly don’t know what I want. To have fun? Be in a relationship? Am I ready to fall in love again? How will my life change if any of these guys are actually worth it? Either way im swimming in the ocean and seeing what’s good.
This past Saturday I went out again. I know, before you start judging me let me tell you that I’m being safe (sorta) and I’m finally having the time of my life. Not holding back and not scared of anything.
This Saturday although it was great it was a little different than most nights I’ve gone out. Me and one of my friends hit up the club and chilled in the parking lot for about half an hour. Then suddenly there was a knock at my car window.
Some drunk guy wanted my friend. Since we are some bad ass bros, when my friend was asked if he wanted to dance with the guy he flat out told him no I want to dance with my friend. I thought the drunk guy was going to slice my throat open but he just walked away.
We were shook. The way the guy approached us was really weird. The rest of the night we were thinking that the guys was gonna key my car, that really killed the mood and my buzz. Not to mention the music really sucked.
Almost at the end of the night while we were dancing on the second stage, some old guy tripped and groped my friend. Like, everything bad happened to him that night I felt terrible.
He ran passed me and walked outside. I couldn’t believe it either. It was really awkward and very ugly. I saw it all happen inform of my eyes and I still couldn’t believe it.
We left soon after that. We went to eat at a taco shop and got some carne asada fries (if you don’t know what those are google them, you’ll thank me later). They were amazing!
We chilled at his house till 6am and then I went home. That Saturday was the best and worst Saturday I had been with this particular friend. He told me that I wasn’t fake and I actually am who I present my self to be. That’s basically the best compliment I have ever received.
I had a totally different post planned for today but some events made me change my mind.
So I have this friend that has been there for me for a while now. I love her to death and I would do anything for her. I always forgave her when she canceled and stood me up. Plus, I would always listen to her problems and try my best to help her out. I truly cared for her. She was one of the people that really helped me get me out of my shell and explore and be more out there.
So I bought Escape tickets with her. It’s a rave type of concert for Halloween. I am very excited because I love Halloween! Plus music and good vibes, bring it in.
Today though. She was telling me all the things she’s planning which is cool. I really appreciate that. I do. I like to be ready for things, at the same time sometimes I like to just go for it. I know she’s been to raves and I know she has experience, but she’s being to much right now.
I told her something and she said that her boyfriends is that once and then she didn’t have a good time. Or other times I’ll say something and she’ll immediately say that her friends did that and that this happened. So, me, getting mad at her told her exactly don’t fucking compare me to your friends.
And it’s true she does that all the time. She replays all the scenarios that she’s ever had with her friends and puts me in there. First of all, I’m nothing like her other friends, second of all I’m a different person so the scenarios will be different. She finds that hard to understand.
She straight out came at me. Told me that I was being rude basically and that she has been there for me and blah blah, ok true that doesn’t give you authority over me though. Then she said that who ever I was hanging out with was now changing me.
Um no, I’m finally living a happy life and you’re going to come and tell me I’ve changed? Oh have I changed because I’m not doing what you want me to do? Because I’m not following over for you? Excuse me but Fuck You. That’s the old me, this is the new me. I’m doing me and I’m doing it well. Like, I love her to death but she has to wake up from her dream.
It seems that this is becoming a regular thing now. Go out, have fun, get drunk, and dance. It’s not a bad thing, as long as all those things mentioned before are done safely. Yesterday, was not one of those nights.
Nonetheless less I had the time of my life, (at least what I can remember). I went to a wedding rehearsal that I will be a grooms man in. It was nice and then there was music and the night got nicer. The food was good and the vibe was amazing. I had a good time there.
I could have finished my night there but no. I, being me, wanted to dance more. So I had already prearranged to meet up some friends at our local gay club. Which is now becoming a tradition, as you all can read.
I took a couple (4) of shots before going in. I didn’t think they would get to me so hard and fast. Then I had a Long Island, and a sip her and a sip there of a drink called Adios, and let me tell you, it’s called that for a reason! After that I was one the dance floor moving and grooving.
I was soon grinding and dancing all up on this guy. I had a hardcore but short make out session with him, (he was actually a good kisser, I think. Can’t really remember much).
Speaking of not remembering, after that the night was a blur. I don’t remember when the club closed, I don’t remember walking outside, I don’t remember laying on the grass, and I don’t remember getting home. But it all happened. And there’s pictures to prove it.
I lost my phone so many times. There was one point I just kept dancing until this on chick walked up and said if I had lost a phone, I hugged her said thanks and went back to dancing like nothing happened. It was a night to remember, but sadly I can’t. That’s the most wasted I’ve ever been in my entire life (and hat says a lot). I had the time of my life though and to be honest I’d do it all over again.
There are a couple of things that make me really happy. One of them is dancing. If you don’t like dancing how do you even live with yourself? Get out if that mentality, the I can’t dance to save my life mentality. If your body is moving to what ever music you are listing that is the definition of dancing.
I used to only dance in the shower, and even then, it wouldn’t even be that great. But now, I’m in clubs dropping it like it’s hot and picking it up like it’s cold. It’s great. Sure, I’m not gonna lie the alcohol does help some. A lot. But nonetheless, I’m dancing and I’m feeling free.
It’s a feeling of weightlessness. Like I’m floating or my feet aren’t touching the ground. The people around me don’t matter because I am my own happiness. I control how happy I can be. What if they stare? What if they look? What if they judge? Let them. I’m doing me and I’m having fun.
And there’s nothing wrong with acting like a fool while dancing. If you really look at it people are just flinging they’re body parts here and there and having fun. That’s all there is to it. The only time when it should matter how you dance is if it’s a competition.
So if you’re not in a competition, then get out and dance.