I consider myself a very happy person.
Not like over the top happy just happy in general aside from my issues happy lol. If you see me, most likely I will give you a warm smile. Usually when talking with friends if they have some sort of issue I’ll do my best to give them advice or at least try to make them see the bright side of things, if there is no bright side, then I’ll try to make them see what can be learned from the experience?
But yesterday, oh boy yesterday. Let’s talk about yesterday, so, I came back from Los Angeles sleep deprived since I only slept three or so hours
because I went to a club the night before and fell asleep as soon as I got home.
When I woke up I really woke up in a bad mood. Not a grumpy mood just less energetic. Like not wanting to deal with anyone, not wanting to speak to anyone or have anyone speak to me. Even though I had a great nap and it was one of the bests I’ve ever had I woke up feeling
ugh I’m going to say it, sad.
I’m not a sad person, well not anymore at least. I texted a friend who always see things in a different way. I told her that I needed some of her infinite wisdom. She’s those types of people that doesn’t chose sides. You tell her give me the reasons why Orange is the best color and she will, but she will also give you the reasons why it’s not, so she’s a very neutral person and I love her for that. She always makes me see both side of the coin.
She told me it was natural that I was feeling a little bit under the weather. She told me that we can’t be happy all the time. But that’s the thing, I need to be happy, I really hate being emotional or worrying about things.
The thing is that this feeling goes beyond feeling sad, its more if a tired feeling. Yes, I think that’s a better way of describing it. So, I have been more “out there” as they say, making new friends, dating and what not, going to parties, and just talking to friends more in general. Being this social is draining to say the least. For someone who didn’t even want to go to work and then only a couple months later have all these things on his list to do is a real dramatic change. A change that is good, because I hate being the victim. But nonetheless its still draining me. Because I haven’t had any me time. Or any alone time.
I think I need to disconnect for at least one day. Maybe turn my phone off for the whole day and just do me. Have no one know where I am or go out and just have fun by myself, center my thoughts and have a moment to myself. Or maybe I just need chocolate?