Two years ago I decided to leave behind my sinful ways and abide by my religion completely. I was committed, I was strong, and I cut everyone from my life who did not believe the same things I did. I lived a more biblical life.
Because I did it that way it soon failed and I returned to what we call the way of the world. I was also living a double life. Why? Because I love both of them so much. Friends from church just as well friends that had no connection to the church.
A few months ago a friend asked me what I was going I do. Eventually I had to chose one life more than the other . At the time I was nieve. I was full of myself and I thought that I could do both. But that’s not the way life works. And if you try it, it’s a nasty fall, both sides would have ended up hating me.
Until recently I had an epiphany. Religion will always be a part of me. Weather I like it or not. Not because anyone is forcing me, but because it’s in my heart and I love it subconsciously. I knew this for a fact when I found myself conversing and debating biblical facts with a friend.
He was trying to say something that I knew from experience wasn’t true. He had a miss understanding. But I thought I was out there hating religion, why was I right there and then defending it? Because I care for it. And I will always have an inclination towards it.
I told my friends what I was thinking. I had an overwhelming well response. They all told me they support me. They will love me no matter what I do and chose. That’s how I knew I had real friends.
This is a new journey. I’m scared that my past will haunt me, but I will own it and move along.