Job Hunt Day 1

To get a good job in today’s job market this is what you’ll need; a good resume, 25 years of experience, 73 degrees, a letter signed by the queen of England, and three strands of hair picked right from a witches mole.

If you think I’m exaggerating, I’m not. Yesterday I was looking at some postings and it seems that employers expect you to know what you will be doing on the job before you even have it. What’s up with that? I get it, it’s your company and you want the best, but no one is perfect.

Yesterday was day one of searching for a job. I’m looking at nearly anything. Jobs that are way above me, jobs that are right up my ally, and jobs that are very questionable.

I even joked to some friends that I’d be down to sell pictures of my feet, if it came down to that. I know a lot of people like that fetish type of stuff. I went a little further in saying I’d sell my used socks as well. I literally can’t find the line because I always cross it. Of course I’m not going to do that for reals… for now.

One of my friends suggested that I be a stripper. And although I’ve thought about it maybe once or nine times before. I don’t really have the body for it. Don’t get me wrong , I could get the body if I wanted to. But the face would still be the same. Ugly. But that can be covered by a mask. Masked stripper? Maybe that could be a thing? Spiral me to super stardom? Who knows. In the mean time I have to get in shape. So technically I still need a job.

Another friend suggested Doordash. Not my first option. But it’s an option nonetheless, and at least this way I won’t have to be buying socks every week. I signed up and got approved. Also signed up for Postmates. I’m desperate to leave my current job. Can’t you tell?

The thing that I don’t wnat to do is let my emotions get in the way of my thinking and quit without having a Plan B. So this is basically me “being smart”. But no doubt I will be on the search for a job that suits my needs. In the meantime I’ll be trying to keep my sanity and my composure at work. Even though I might lose one of those pretty soon.


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