I Didn’t Say It Back

When is it a proper time to say the three magic words in a relationship? Maybe there isn’t a time frame when you should say it? Maybe you should say it when you feel it. But, how will you know if it is what it is? Am I making any sense?

This past weekend I went with my boyfriend to one of his friends house for a little get together. It was fun and I had a good time, I had my moments of anxiety when I really didn’t want to be there, which I probably should have told him, but I didn’t. I learned my lesson though.

Let me get to the point. He got drunk, I was as sober. We were alone outside at one point where he said he really didn’t want to lose me. It was honestly really cute, of course I don’t want to lose him either. I really like this guy, he’s starting to become everything to me.

I was concerned that maybe he wouldn’t remember what we had talked about, since he was drunk. He caught me by surprise when he said the three words.

I thought I was going to be the one to say it first. I thought I was the more emotional one. I know I am. I know that I am the more sentimental one, I am the more romantic one. But I didn’t say it back.

I thought maybe it was that he was drunk, it had to be the alcohol talking, right? Hours passed by and he sobered up, we went to jack in the box to get some food before we went home. I was the only one actually sober sober so I drove everyone home.

He was sober by the time we got home so I asked him if he remembered everything we talked about that night. He said he did. So me, being me, I asked him again if he remembered, everything everything? He looked at me and said yes, and he said it again, and then said that he said it because he meant it. I still didn’t say it back.

Does that make me a bad person? I know that I have strong feelings for him, I do. I don’t think I have felt like this for anyone before, but I want to be really sure, I don’t just want to say it because he said it. I want to say it because I feel it. I know I feel something. I know.

He told me I didn’t have to say it. He said it was ok, he probably said that because I started tearing up. Am I scared to say it? It is a possibility. I really wanted to though, but I wasn’t ready, it wasn’t the time, and I didn’t want him thinking that I said it just because he had. I want to say it because I feel it and I want him to know.

I haven’t said it to anyone before. This is new to me, its scary ok? Plus he said that he didn’t say it in his last relationship until four months in, and yes, I know its not the same thing because hes dating me now but still that’s my brain for you.

I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want this to end, I know that it wont if we don’t let it. He is possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me. Every day we talk, every time we see each other, every time I think of him, I keep falling for him more and more.

Maybe I am…in love.

One thought on “I Didn’t Say It Back

  1. When you really feel it, you’ll know. It’s unlike any feeling you will ever have, and you won’t even be able to express it in words. There’s no timeline for this kind of thing, and I think it’s great that he feels that way about you. I also think it’s great that you aren’t saying it just because he did. Slow and steady – just as long as he DOES know that you are in for the long haul and that you care deeply for him. Maybe just give him a little background on why you haven’t said it back. I’m sure he will understand. He sounds like a good fit for you.

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