I don’t know what it is.
I’m sitting in my boyfriends room while he takes a shower thinking, dam… pretty soon I’m going to be surrounded by thousands of people, loud music, and alcohol.
To any other normal person this would be a dream. Why wouldn’t you want to party on the last day of the year and have the time of your life with the love of your life celebrating and welcoming the new year?
But to me, to me it’s not like that. I feel anxious, nervous, and to be completely honest I don’t really want to go. Maybe it’s just a bad day for me? Maybe I’m overthinking it too much. This always happens, I get excited for something and down to the wire I don’t want to go.
My boyfriend spent a lot of money to go, he’s really excited and this is his scene, he loves these types of events.
It makes me feel really far from him. He’s social, loud, likes to be around his friends constantly. But I’m all the opposite. Why can’t I be like that? Why do I feel this way?
I hate overthinking, I really hate it. Why can’t I have a normal brain and just live in the moment and not worry about the little stupid shit no one else has on their mind.
All that’s left to do is just suck it up, and live in the moment.