Stupid Shit

I don’t know what it is.

I’m sitting in my boyfriends room while he takes a shower thinking, dam… pretty soon I’m going to be surrounded by thousands of people, loud music, and alcohol.

To any other normal person this would be a dream. Why wouldn’t you want to party on the last day of the year and have the time of your life with the love of your life celebrating and welcoming the new year?

But to me, to me it’s not like that. I feel anxious, nervous, and to be completely honest I don’t really want to go. Maybe it’s just a bad day for me? Maybe I’m overthinking it too much. This always happens, I get excited for something and down to the wire I don’t want to go.

My boyfriend spent a lot of money to go, he’s really excited and this is his scene, he loves these types of events.

It makes me feel really far from him. He’s social, loud, likes to be around his friends constantly. But I’m all the opposite. Why can’t I be like that? Why do I feel this way?

I hate overthinking, I really hate it. Why can’t I have a normal brain and just live in the moment and not worry about the little stupid shit no one else has on their mind.

All that’s left to do is just suck it up, and live in the moment.

2 thoughts on “Stupid Shit

  1. There’s at least one other option: that nothing’s wrong with you, you just have different preferences and delights. We human beings are not all alike, and there’s definitely no reason to think that people who love to party are superior to those of us who can take it or leave it, or would really prefer to leave it. I can totally see doing something that’s not your favorite for the sake of someone you love, because they want to, and because you want them to be happy. But I also think you can cut yourself some slack; you don’t have to feel bad about it not being your favorite thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m introverted and absolutely do not like to be in the party scene. I don’t like crowds of people, I don’t like immature drunks. I consider myself to be fairly normal – it’s just that crowds of people suck all of my energy out and leave me feeling bone-tired an hour into a get together. It’s okay to be like that, but your boyfriend also needs to understand that this is who you are – and while going out and doing this things is okay sometimes, it’s really not your thing. I would imagine he would be supportive of that. Sometimes, especially when you’re dating someone who is your opposite, you have to both make room to do things alone and be okay and secure with that.

    Liked by 1 person

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