I had a really long day the other day, Friday.
My mom had yet another surgery, and I had another job interview. There was also no food in the fridge so we needed that as well. For the most part my morning was super hectic.
These surgeries are getting to feel numb to me. When my mom tells me she has another one in a couple of weeks I already know the routine.
She wont eat 12 hours ahead, we wake up at the peak of dawn, drive to the hospital, register in, go upstairs, then register me as the “driver”, sit and wait to be called in, get called and she changes into a gown, wait a little more and then go into yet another room where the surgeons talk and the anesthesiologist lets my mom know she is in safe hands, she then gets a really small dose of the anesthesia, and then bam, shes rolled away to the OR and in surgery and I’m left waiting until they call me.
To some these seem like a lot, but to me its just a simple doctor visit. I wish it didn’t sound as cruel as it sounded but even for my mom its become a part of life, as if its a thing everyone goes through. She wasn’t even nervous this time around, she was a boss, she walked with confidence and was eager to just be done with it.
This feeling of “insensitivity” (which is not even an accurate definition of the feeling) doesn’t make the experience any less sucky. We still hate that she has to go through all of this, granted she is cancer free now and has been for 3 years, but the after math this thing causes is so bad. The good part is that its over for now and shes back home happily sleeping and dreaming in drug land with unicorns and talking butterflies.
Meanwhile, I had to go to an interview. I left the hospital as soon as they took her in and went grocery shopping. This isn’t the first time I leave when shes under surgery. My thought is sure I can stay but what is that going to do? Am I going to help the Surgeons? Plus, I need to keep my brain busy or else it wonders and then I can’t find it.
I bought the groceries we needed and headed home to put them away and change to go to my interview. I wasn’t nervous and I wasn’t excited, I was rushing with everything that I didn’t even have time to feel. It was the only slot they had and it was unfortunately around the same time that my mom was in surgery.
Now, lets talk about the interview. They really don’t scare me. You either like me or you don’t, period. Yes, I’m going to talk good about myself and sell you the best person that you can possible hire, but I’m not going to sell myself out either.
The position that they posted said “customer service” and the description had something to do with being the middle man between the company and the clients. I thought I was going to get a desk and a phone. But no, the lady who interviewed me and another girl (I guess they decided to do a two for one special) told us that we would be placed in stores and walk around and ask people if they want solar panels. WTF. THEN PUT THAT IN YOUR FUCKING DESCRIPTION LADY.
Before entering the interview, me and the other person getting interviewed started talking in the waiting room. She said how she can’t stand jobs that post that they are customer service jobs but its actually marketing. That you have to go out door to door and sell things, or make cold calls. She didn’t want that, I don’t either, boy were we in for a surprise.
Once I picked up my mom and came home, I received a call from the secretary of the company that said that the interviewer really liked me and would like me to return for a one on one interview for the next step. I politely declined.
I don’t know if this makes sense but I’ll say it anyways, on some days I am a people person and on others I don’t even want to talk to the voices in my head. So no, I could not take the job.
So there’s that. I am not upset and I don’t think I am sad, I just feel blah. Like ugh what can I do? That’s just life. I almost ate my feelings by going to Starbucks and ordering something super sweet and unhealthy, but I didn’t.
Because I remembered, I don’t have a job, and I don’t have any money.