Homophobic Vegas

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Do people still say that? Or do things just happen everywhere now?

Anyways let me get straight to the point here, I went to Las Vegas. What did I experience? a lot of homophobia. Maybe I didn’t notice before how people actually are but in Vegas? Out of all the places in the world that would be the last place I would expect it.

I went with my boyfriend and his friend out to eat at this sky thing that’s… in the sky. I’m pretty sure you know it if you have ever been to Vegas before. I want to make it very clear that every single moment spent with my boyfriend was like a fairy tale and I have no complaint. We were having a good time. Soon later the couple that sat next to us really gave us ‘the stare’.

Soon they waved the waitress over and whispered something in her ear, and then they moved to the table that was the farthest away from us, not even five minutes after they had been seated. I know I should give them the benefit of the doubt and think that they just didn’t like the location that they were seated at. But the way they looked at us was alarming.

That didn’t stop me from holding my boyfriends hand in public, even though I did notice he was sort of tense. We talked about it once we had come home the next day. Even walking on the streets people didn’t seem that too open about it either. But that’s all I’ll say about that.

In all, I had a great time. I actually had the time of my life. I can’t remember the last time I was that happy. Which brings me to my next sappy point, I think I’m really falling for this guy.

Last night I was laying in bed and I was thinking about him and I started laughing, I started giggling like a little boy in preschool. I looked like a dork. I don’t know why. I was grinning I was feeling all warm inside. And all I wanted to do was be with him. I didn’t get to see him yesterday but granted I did get to spend four whole days with him. I don’t get to see him again until the weekend and it can’t come soon enough.

Clubbing/2nd Date

This past weekend was freaking amazing. I haven’t had a great weekend like this in a long while and I feel like I deserved it.

One of my best friends asked me about a week ago if I wanted to go clubbing. I hadn’t been clubbing since my birthday about four months ago. I was kind of iffy about it because we were going to local clubs and I had never been. It turned out great in the long run though. I actually had a great time.

We went to about four clubs during the whole night. Which was also new to me, usually I only stick to one club, when they have good music. It was great to see my friend let loose and be a little wreckless. I’m usually the one that gets out of control but it was nice to see how much fun she was having, she really needed that night.

She has major decisions coming her way and I know its not easy for her. She has so many things riding for her right now. But I’m here for her and in the end I just want her to find happiness and be happy with what she is doing. After all I have been through shes been by my side so I plan to do the same for her because I love her like that.

That was Saturday. Now on Sunday, I went on a second date. It was really out of the blue and it was with the guy I went on a date with on Friday night in my last post. He’s the only guy I ended up talking to. And we ended up messaging each other all weekend, then he asked if I wanted to do something, of course I said yes.

The date was taken straight out of a romantic comedy, I swear we only needed that cheesy music playing in the background. We went to get some frozen yogurt. We were there for a little over an hour just chatting. He’s so easy to talk to, I’m like an open book. He’s very talkative as well so it helps. The conversation would never fall silent.

We later went hiking. As we walked we talked about dumb things that made us both laugh. The similarities between us are unbelievable. Every sentence would end with either of us saying “me too!”.

It felt really great. We talked and talked and it felt like it was just us two. Usually I’m so self conscious about my surroundings and the people who are around and I shut myself in, or I’m too self aware about the things I say that I don’t even get to be myself, but it was different. It felt as if we were the only people on the planet. I had to remind my self that there were other people around.

When he dropped me off I did’t want to leave. I stayed in his car for as long as I could and I noticed he really didn’t want me to leave either when I would say I was going to head out he would start a new conversation.

Now, this is just like me. Get all crazy about a new guy just on a few dates, think hes really cool and like him and then find something that I don’t like, then get all sad because in my head I had already planned out out whole lives together. Because honestly, it has happened before. (Way too many times).

So I texted a friend I always text on stuff like this because she is a fountain of wisdom. She told me to take it slow. She told me to be real with myself and enjoy the moment. I feel like its advice I could have given myself but it works coming from her as well. Sometimes you know what you need to hear and even when you tell yourself you don’t believe it until someone else tells you.

I can’t wait to see him again this weekend. It sucks that I have to wait that long. But I know that it will be worth it.

Huge/Short Vacation

Trees. I love them. I’ve never asked myself why though. When I drive and I look across the plains and see nothing but dry grass, it really brings me down. But trees, greenery, life. Maybe that’s what it is. It just all looks alive.

I took a very last minute huge/short vacation. I really did have the time of my life. It was a short five days but nonetheless it was so worth it.

It started with one of my moms friends. My moms friend has another friend who lives in Wyoming. That friend is a nanny (hope you stay with me here LoL). The family she nannies for was going on a work trip to Lake Tahoe. Allegedly the family is a doctor and they were having something there for them or whatever.

So that nanny told my moms friend that she should go visit her and she would hook her up with a hotel. And she did. All that my moms friend needed is find some one to drive her there which my mom kindly offered my services.

So we drove to Lake Tahoe on Wednesday and stayed for 2 days. Then the third we went to Sequoia national park. The huge trees as they say, since it was close, plus we really wanted to go too.

After that my moms friend wanted to go to the city where we grew up in. I took her there and we went around town. Small town. When we left, when I was little, the population was about only 5,000 people. And now it’s at 13,000. So it’s growing.

I still have family that lives there. My mom wanted to see them. I didn’t. Not because I hate them or anything. I really love them and they are great people. But, they Jehovah’s Witnesses. I wasn’t ready to be interrogated by them about why I wasn’t going anymore.

Right away they ask if I’m a servant (someone who helps the Pastora out), or a pioneer (someone who devotes 50 to 70 hours of door to door knocking). They are always looking for ways on how you can grow “spiritually”.

So instead after seeing the town we just left. But the whole trip in itself was great. I hiked a combined total of about 25 miles these past days. I’m a little worn out but it was so worth it.

This was a river up a hike that took us about 3 hours to climb. We were all dying half way up, but the view at the top was priceless. We hiked 2,000 feet.

Surprisingly, there was still snow up there. The elevation at this point was 7,000 feet. When I got there I threw myself on the snow. We were almost at the very top.

Here I’m on the tram going down. I think after hiking up for that long the best feeling in the world is knowing you won’t have to hike down. We just made it in time, we took the second to last tram down of the day.

Lake Tahoe. The thing is huge! The water, cold. But I still managed to go in and it felt great on my body. It was the day after the hike and we all just kind of chilled for a good second. Later that night, we all jumped in the Jacuzzi.

Next stop. The sequoias. If you haven’t seen these trees in person, you’re really missing out. This one right here in the picture believe it or not is a little more wide than two cars put together. Pretty sure it’s the thickest tree in the world, if it’s not then it’s a good competitor for first place.

This river was at Sequoia. Only half a mile which is basically nothing compared to what we hiked before but it was a nice walk and some hikers even say they saw a bear. I didn’t get to see it, even though I really wanted to. Bummer.

Last stop. This is a view from my home town where I grew up in. There is a huge mountain that you can climb and at an edge there is a cliff that holds rocks. Many climbers go there. It’s a nice sight to see.

I hope you enjoyed these pictures!

Coming Out To My Coworkers

I was actually writing a different post but I have been so busy planning my whole birthday week, I don’t mean to flex on y’all like that but it is my b day week so I feel as if its justified. (I’m going to the movies, shopping, sixflags, the beach, the club, and eating sushi).

Just this week alone I have came out to two people. One of them was an old coworker that I don’t see that often any more since she no longer works with me. But we kept in contact all these years and still hang out often. I wanted to talk to her and see how she was doing and also tell her everything that was going on in my life. She wanted to do the same.

We took a walk in the park and after we gossiped about everything that we needed to catch up on I told her I needed to tell her something. It was hard, because as humans we fear the unknown and we fear the rejection we will receive if we are not accepted. But it went well. She said she is proud of me. She also told me that its good that I am now living for myself and not for other people. She even cried and hugged me and it felt so liberating. Why did I put it off for so long?

The other person is one of my current coworkers. She is a really sweet person. I have gotten to know her and bond with her over the course of just a few months. I really actually didn’t even need to come out to her. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.

I told her I left my old religion since she knew I was in it from when I met her. Then a couple days passed and I told her I was going to celebrate my B day with some friends at the beach. While I told her the reasons why I left my old religion ‘I couldn’t be the person I wanted to be,’ she kind of got the clue. If she didn’t then she must have after I told her I was going to a my favorite gay night club also on my birthday. Her response was “OMG how fun, I have 3 gay friends.” Don’t know how to feel about that but I know she was only trying to be accepting in her own way. I hope she can come to the club with all my friends. I have friends that are taking other friends, it feels nice I’m not gonna lie.

Today, one of the very first people to welcome me to the job were I’m at said she wanted to take me out for sushi. I said hell yeah! I told her that its perfect since I did want to tell her something. She told me no biggie what ever it was she would be there for me. I love that.

Everything seems to be going well. SEEMS. But we will see. I am so grateful that I have all these supportive people in my life. But this is the real world we do live in. And I know some people will be furious by what I do, and I have to learn to accept that, and also not care about it. Even though some of those people will be people I really cared about.

But in the mean time, 25 here I come!

Dear April

This is my open letter to April (yes the month).

 

Dear April,

The year has gone by so fast and we will be seeing each other in a couple of days. How have you been? I have been well. You know, the last time you came around I wasn’t in the best of state. And, lets be completely honest here, I might still not be. But we live, learn, and move on right?

The flowers have been blooming for you in the wait of your arrival. How do you feel about that? I think a lot of people under estimate you. What happens in April? Almost nothing. But I want to be kind to you in the hopes that you will show that in return. #karma

I ask of you, April, if you can bring happiness. Maybe if its just a glimpse of it? Let me know that it’s real. Take care of my friends and family as well. I know they will be well in your hands. Can you take care of me? Can you bring me Patience? Do you know him? Patience and I have been distant for a while. Can you rebuild that bridge?

This could be irrelevant to you, but like, could you possibly bring me more youtube subs? hahhahahahaha lol jk you don’t have to but like if you want to it would be nice you know.  

I don’t know what else to ask for honestly. I have a feeling this year you will be significant in my life. You will leave a mark and it wont hurt. Lets have fun April. Lets do things we never done before. Lets explore, laugh, and live life. I know you and I are capable of so much more. Lets show the world what we are capable of when we work together. Lets do it. Lets do this. Lets live

Love, 

Peter


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