Huge/Short Vacation

Trees. I love them. I’ve never asked myself why though. When I drive and I look across the plains and see nothing but dry grass, it really brings me down. But trees, greenery, life. Maybe that’s what it is. It just all looks alive.

I took a very last minute huge/short vacation. I really did have the time of my life. It was a short five days but nonetheless it was so worth it.

It started with one of my moms friends. My moms friend has another friend who lives in Wyoming. That friend is a nanny (hope you stay with me here LoL). The family she nannies for was going on a work trip to Lake Tahoe. Allegedly the family is a doctor and they were having something there for them or whatever.

So that nanny told my moms friend that she should go visit her and she would hook her up with a hotel. And she did. All that my moms friend needed is find some one to drive her there which my mom kindly offered my services.

So we drove to Lake Tahoe on Wednesday and stayed for 2 days. Then the third we went to Sequoia national park. The huge trees as they say, since it was close, plus we really wanted to go too.

After that my moms friend wanted to go to the city where we grew up in. I took her there and we went around town. Small town. When we left, when I was little, the population was about only 5,000 people. And now it’s at 13,000. So it’s growing.

I still have family that lives there. My mom wanted to see them. I didn’t. Not because I hate them or anything. I really love them and they are great people. But, they Jehovah’s Witnesses. I wasn’t ready to be interrogated by them about why I wasn’t going anymore.

Right away they ask if I’m a servant (someone who helps the Pastora out), or a pioneer (someone who devotes 50 to 70 hours of door to door knocking). They are always looking for ways on how you can grow “spiritually”.

So instead after seeing the town we just left. But the whole trip in itself was great. I hiked a combined total of about 25 miles these past days. I’m a little worn out but it was so worth it.

This was a river up a hike that took us about 3 hours to climb. We were all dying half way up, but the view at the top was priceless. We hiked 2,000 feet.

Surprisingly, there was still snow up there. The elevation at this point was 7,000 feet. When I got there I threw myself on the snow. We were almost at the very top.

Here I’m on the tram going down. I think after hiking up for that long the best feeling in the world is knowing you won’t have to hike down. We just made it in time, we took the second to last tram down of the day.

Lake Tahoe. The thing is huge! The water, cold. But I still managed to go in and it felt great on my body. It was the day after the hike and we all just kind of chilled for a good second. Later that night, we all jumped in the Jacuzzi.

Next stop. The sequoias. If you haven’t seen these trees in person, you’re really missing out. This one right here in the picture believe it or not is a little more wide than two cars put together. Pretty sure it’s the thickest tree in the world, if it’s not then it’s a good competitor for first place.

This river was at Sequoia. Only half a mile which is basically nothing compared to what we hiked before but it was a nice walk and some hikers even say they saw a bear. I didn’t get to see it, even though I really wanted to. Bummer.

Last stop. This is a view from my home town where I grew up in. There is a huge mountain that you can climb and at an edge there is a cliff that holds rocks. Many climbers go there. It’s a nice sight to see.

I hope you enjoyed these pictures!

Coming Out To My Coworkers

I was actually writing a different post but I have been so busy planning my whole birthday week, I don’t mean to flex on y’all like that but it is my b day week so I feel as if its justified. (I’m going to the movies, shopping, sixflags, the beach, the club, and eating sushi).

Just this week alone I have came out to two people. One of them was an old coworker that I don’t see that often any more since she no longer works with me. But we kept in contact all these years and still hang out often. I wanted to talk to her and see how she was doing and also tell her everything that was going on in my life. She wanted to do the same.

We took a walk in the park and after we gossiped about everything that we needed to catch up on I told her I needed to tell her something. It was hard, because as humans we fear the unknown and we fear the rejection we will receive if we are not accepted. But it went well. She said she is proud of me. She also told me that its good that I am now living for myself and not for other people. She even cried and hugged me and it felt so liberating. Why did I put it off for so long?

The other person is one of my current coworkers. She is a really sweet person. I have gotten to know her and bond with her over the course of just a few months. I really actually didn’t even need to come out to her. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.

I told her I left my old religion since she knew I was in it from when I met her. Then a couple days passed and I told her I was going to celebrate my B day with some friends at the beach. While I told her the reasons why I left my old religion ‘I couldn’t be the person I wanted to be,’ she kind of got the clue. If she didn’t then she must have after I told her I was going to a my favorite gay night club also on my birthday. Her response was “OMG how fun, I have 3 gay friends.” Don’t know how to feel about that but I know she was only trying to be accepting in her own way. I hope she can come to the club with all my friends. I have friends that are taking other friends, it feels nice I’m not gonna lie.

Today, one of the very first people to welcome me to the job were I’m at said she wanted to take me out for sushi. I said hell yeah! I told her that its perfect since I did want to tell her something. She told me no biggie what ever it was she would be there for me. I love that.

Everything seems to be going well. SEEMS. But we will see. I am so grateful that I have all these supportive people in my life. But this is the real world we do live in. And I know some people will be furious by what I do, and I have to learn to accept that, and also not care about it. Even though some of those people will be people I really cared about.

But in the mean time, 25 here I come!

Dear April

This is my open letter to April (yes the month).

 

Dear April,

The year has gone by so fast and we will be seeing each other in a couple of days. How have you been? I have been well. You know, the last time you came around I wasn’t in the best of state. And, lets be completely honest here, I might still not be. But we live, learn, and move on right?

The flowers have been blooming for you in the wait of your arrival. How do you feel about that? I think a lot of people under estimate you. What happens in April? Almost nothing. But I want to be kind to you in the hopes that you will show that in return. #karma

I ask of you, April, if you can bring happiness. Maybe if its just a glimpse of it? Let me know that it’s real. Take care of my friends and family as well. I know they will be well in your hands. Can you take care of me? Can you bring me Patience? Do you know him? Patience and I have been distant for a while. Can you rebuild that bridge?

This could be irrelevant to you, but like, could you possibly bring me more youtube subs? hahhahahahaha lol jk you don’t have to but like if you want to it would be nice you know.  

I don’t know what else to ask for honestly. I have a feeling this year you will be significant in my life. You will leave a mark and it wont hurt. Lets have fun April. Lets do things we never done before. Lets explore, laugh, and live life. I know you and I are capable of so much more. Lets show the world what we are capable of when we work together. Lets do it. Lets do this. Lets live

Love, 

Peter


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Ghosts Of Halloween Past

Thousands or more like millions of children are going door to door tonight in search of the best candies they can find. Teens across America are going to parties their parents aren’t aware of. Girls dress up in provocative costumes not wanting men to undress them with their eyes. Men go around undressing slutty woman with their eyes.

This used to be my favorite holiday. It was actually the only holiday that I cared about celebrating. Not even Christmas came close. But halloween stood out like a sore thumb all year long. What’s there not to love? Candy, scary movies, cold weather in some weird association, and dressing up and seeing everyone’s creativity.

Growing up I craved being able to celebrate it. It wasn’t until I was 20 years old that I actually finally celebrated Halloween. I was a good Christian boy, but then I walked over to the dark side. Pun intended.

I was Peter Pan. And honestly, it was one of the best nights I’ve had. I felt like a kid again. Pun game strong today. The year after that I didn’t dress up but I did go to a party. I had fun but wasn’t that exciting. Two years ago I didn’t do anything at all because I was in a huge hole of depression. Last year, I took a shift on my day off to work on Halloween because I didn’t want to be sad that I didn’t have plans.

What am I doing this Halloween? Sitting at home writing this post. Even though I want to be out there, doing stuff, partying, and just getting crazy. But even though I tell myself if you aren’t happy then change yourself. But the thing is that I am happy. I’ve changed, and it’s ok, I miss things but it doesn’t make me miserable.

Just another Halloween.

Big Ball Of A Mess

The beach is a relaxing place for me. When I think of the beach I think warm sand, soft breeze, nice sound of the waves touching the shore, and the sunlight shining from above like a ray of hope.

That’s exactly how I felt yesterday. I’ve been living my life really fast lately and I needed to take a break. Going to the beach and not working about anything or anyone really felt great.

A lot of things are piling up on me. For example, my dating life, I’m talking to all these guys and I can’t chose one because they aren’t what I want. My friends, I’m trying to divide my time between all of them yet none of them want to hang out with each other. And not to mention my moms upcoming reconstruction surgery for her breast cancer. Let alone me being and dancing in a wedding. It’s all a big ball of a mess.

That’s why I needed yesterday, and I got it. I headed to Malibu with my brother, mother, and two of my church friends. One of my friends I have been estranged with for the longest time. I actually wrote him a letter on this blog. We because close told him I was gay and then he vanished from my life.

But now, it seems he wants to be back in it. When I got home after dropping him off he sent me a text saying how sorry he was that he let our friendship die. That because of his stubbornness he wouldn’t let himself talk to me or be around me. He also said how he’d like to go back to where we used to be. I’m not gonna lie, this made my heart dance insanely.

He was there for me through all of my moms stages going into the beginning of her Breast cancer like no one else was. He stayed at the hospital with me the day of the first surgery. He was a good friend. And I can not lie I want that friendship back myself.

One of the guys I dated would like a second chance. I told him we had very different views and we always clashed about something. He said how that was ok and he really liked me. I’m not sure what to do or say to him. He’s just not my cup of tea anymore, the problem is I give second chances as if they were handshakes.

Back to the beach though, at the end of the day, I’d say the last thirty minutes. I was swimming and the tides were growing in size. I was swimming like I was all day, or like I always do when I go to the beach. The only issue is that this wave came at me with an agenda. To take me down.

All I remember is being body slammed into the floor and my back giving out, I yelled under water out of pain and naturally water filled my lungs. I shot up to the surface trying to speak but couldn’t. That had never happened to me before. I ran out of the water and layer down. The water evacuated my body and that’s when I felt the pain in my back. I laid on the grown for a few minutes before returning to the water. The piercing coldness is the water felt great on my back and for a moment it was like I had never been assaulted by the ocean.

My back only started hurting once I was out again. Driving home was excruciating. Not to mention sleeping. I bought some patches to put on my back and they did help some. Now I’m sore. I didn’t go to work either. And today all that I have done is sleep. Which is good because I have been missing out on that for weeks.

Two of my friends made my day. One works at a pizza place and made a custom made pizza for me, and another at a Starbucks, who gave me a pumpkin spice frappuccino for free.

So I’m all, yesterday as much as today have been very relaxing days, and even though I semi broke my back, there’s always a bright side to everything. You just have to chose to see it.