My Weight Loss Summer Journey

Three months ago I wrote a post about how unhealthy and fat I was feeling. Here I am now in the present, today. Living a healthy life. Well, trying to, if I’m being honest.

I have lost about 25 pounds (if not more, not to flex or anything LOL). In the pictures maybe you can notice but I did lose a lot. I am proud of myself. It took a lot of hard work and a lot of self control.

At first it was extremely hard. I remember I was eating out for lunch almost every single day. When I say eating I mean EATING. Every day it I felt like I could eat more and more. There was actually times when I would eat and still feel as if I had more room in my stomach. I would also go for the biggest things.  I thought, the bigger the deal, the more I’m getting for my money. But in reality, my health was going down hill and the only thing that was getting bigger was my waist.

SO, going from burgers every single day to a salad was not easy. But I slowly transitioned. Soon I was eating a salad every day for lunch. I switched my coffee in the mornings to tea (even though I went back to coffee later on, but shhhh we don’t talk about that). I tried to cut out carbs from my diet as much as I could, but not completely, I mean c’mon I’m not a sociopath.

Then I started going for a walk at my local park. ALONE. Yes, people need motivation and support, but there’s something about just walking alone, in your thoughts, with your music hitting your eardrums like a hammer on a nail.

My walk progressed to a slow jog and now I can run for a good while. At the beginning it was very difficult to see results. But looking back now, I see how I (slowly) progressed. I just had to keep at it.

I am very proud of my weight loss. I think that I am in the best shape of my life. I know I am not in the best shape in general, but still I feel great. I do have some concerns though. Well, mostly just one.

Gaining all my weight back. How would I? Two reasons. I have really bad shin splints, and I’m taking Lexapro.

If you don’t know what shin splints are then your are one lucky son of a duck. They suck and they are hard to get rid of. Basically its a sharp pain that affects the shin area of your leg. It can occur for many reasons. Flat feet, uneven surfaces that you may walk on, bad running habits, or increasing the amount of your training too rapidly before your muscles can get a chance to grow and adapt. I feel that I got them for all those reasons and more. If I can’t walk, job, or run, I am scared I’ll gain all the weight back and more.

Lexapro. If you didn’t know, I have anxiety. (One of my many wonderful character traits). A lot of it, if I could give it away or throw it out I would but sadly I can’t so here we are. I take this med to help with it. I have been taking it for about a week now. I haven’t noticed many, or if any, changes. The doctor said I would in about 3 to 4 weeks. That’s not my issue though. One of the side effects is weight gain. I’m already concerned about my shins, now this. Great. Or maybe its just my anxiety trying to get the best out of me before the med hits.

I want to get a gym membership to use other equipment that wont be too hard on my legs. But then I wimp out. I also thought of getting a bike. But then I remember that people in this dumb town don’t lock up their dogs and they chew people up in the street on the daily. Lovely.

SO, in the mean time I’ll just take it easy and try to eat as healthy as I possibly can. Ugh.

*Sips venti Starbucks Frappuccino*

My Life Starts Now

Yesterday, I went to the mall with one of my good friends. I was actually really concerned for everyone’s safety. As I was walking around I got a glimpse of myself in one of those mirrors they have on those poles. I audibly gasped. My man boobs were sticking out like concealed weapons. I was shocked I hadn’t physically stabbed some ones eye out with my cones of flesh popping out from under my shirt. Some one should have stopped me, my friend should have told me something! Clearly the shirt that I was wearing was not flattering at all.

I’m not one to go to the mall in the first place, I don’t understand why society thinks that its ok to make a shirt, slap a brand on it, and sell it for an outrageous amount of money, when you can clearly buy the same one or the same pair of jeans for way less with out the brand name. But, I am glad I did go because it gave me the opportunity to actually get a good look at what I have become. So when my friend asked if I wanted to go with him I said sure, I haven’t gone in months, so I went to remind myself why it is that I don’t actually like to go in the first place. I know, my mind is a tricky place.

Lets talk a little about the pictures you just saw. One is a hot, sexy, confident, young man. The other is some one who stress eats all his problems and emotions. And don’t try to tell me other wise, because NO.

In the picture on the left I was at my all time best. That was the summer of last year. The picture on the right is me now, today, about 20 minutes ago. I used to weigh 185, which is exactly what I am supposed to weigh for my age and height. Now I weigh 215. Not really much over weight, just 30 pounds. Well, still a lot, but you get me. Its all located in my gut, breasteses, and my double chins. So, what happened?

Life happened. I went to the gym more than I went to church back then. I wasn’t the lifting weights type of person which is why I don’t look buff. The elliptical was my lover. I loved that hoe. I have week knees so the treadmill always killed me. Back to the subject, I used to go to the gym but then I stopped once my mom was going to get her reconstruction surgery after surviving breast cancer. A little before that I noticed I started eating more and more. Then when her surgery came through I stopped going completely.

She was out for a whole month. I took a month or so off work to take care of her. It took a toll on me, and honestly I got conformable with myself. I told myself that when she was all better I would go back to my regular routine and I would lose all the weight that I would have gained. That didn’t go as planned. I started this friendship with a girl from church and then it turned into something else. I was so stressed. My moms surgery, work, the girl, and other things were all on my back. I looked for help and comfort and I found it in hot greasy carne assada fries. (If you don’t know what that is, we need to hang out ASAP).

But today I woke up with hope. I woke up feeling some thing that I haven’t felt in a while. I need to take care of myself. I haven’t been. For the longest time I have been taking care of everyone else. I have been the person that they want me to be because I didn’t want to disappoint them. In reality, who are they? Who really are they? They made me feel terrible. Terrible enough that I couldn’t control what and how much I put in my mouth. Not intentionally, but I still let them.

Well that’s over. I’ts time I take back what is rightfully mine. My life. And I need to put this out there and on here to keep myself in check. If I never say it, I’ll never do it. I’ll check back at and see where my progress is at.

My life starts NOW.

The United States Healthcare System

The healthcare system in the United States is one piece of S***.


Before I start ranting, let me give you a little bit of a back story. Sunday night, I felt a little bit of back pain that I didn’t pay much attention to. On Monday morning I woke up with a more pain. It was a sore like pain. But only when I moved or twisted back and forth, I would feel a sharp pain in my upper back on only one side. If that didn’t make sense, it’s basically where I have my kidney at, that’s where.

I didn’t work Monday (because there was no work) so I rested the whole day in the hopes that the “soreness” would go away. I even put an Icy-Hot on it. Nothing happened. That’s when I knew things were a little more serious. Tuesday morning, I went to work but I was still feeling the pain as I was up and around. I did a half day and decided to go to the doctor after.

At the doctor I found out that my healthcare insurance had been suspended or inactive since last year in August (great). I still saw the doctor anyway and had to pay for the visit but I didn’t really care, I needed to know what was wrong with me.

Here’s where my rant will start. You are warned. Since, I do not have healthcare insurance, I can’t know my diagnosis. Once the doctor asked me all the normal questions and I did a urine test he concluded it could be one of two things. A kidney stone, or some type of muscle thing that I can’t really pronounce so I don’t remember it.

(Ok, this is where the rant actually starts). He asked me what I wanted to do. HE ASKED ME. After seeing that I didn’t have insurance he asked me what I wanted to do. I mean sure, he gets some compassionate points for caring about my financial status and being concerned on how I will be paying for things. But since when do you go to the doctors and get asked what you want them to do with you? Um fix me.

This is what he asked me; did I want to pay for an ultra sound to find out the root of the issue, or did I just want to rule it as the “muscle issue thing” and take some pills for it. The “muscle issue thing” would have been a cheaper option. But would it have been an actual correct diagnosis? NO. I just told him to put in the order for the ultra sound and I would figure out the insurance later.

It sucks that everything is so dam expensive that doctors are willing to misdiagnosis a person to help them out. Its insane. Pills too. He asked if I wanted pain pills. He even informed me that it would be cheaper to just get them over the counter. Gee thanks.

Well, I went to apply for some healthcare insurance and GUESS what they told me. When I asked how I could reactive it they told me that I had reapply. REAPPLY. The process would take 30 to 40 days to response. OH, ok, let me just pause the boulder that’s lodged in between my organs until I have healthcare. I told them that I needed it sooner and the girl LITERALLY said, “well, you should always make sure your information is up to date so things like this wont happen.” What the hell am I supposed to do with that piece of advice? She had a point but I wasn’t asking for her opinion.

So what now? I have no healthcare, I have no money because my job is crumbing to the ground, and I have this pain in my back that’s laughing at me. I don’t know what I have. WebMD is my best bet right now. According to them I have kidney stones. I just pray that its not a big deal because from what I heard, these little stones cause major pain.

And, (I just want to add before I’m done here), I don’t think I’ll even apply to healthcare right now. Why? They ask all these questions. Like who lives with you? How much they make? How much you make? All that BS. HELLO, excuse me, if I am applying for this its because I CAN’T pay for it myself bro. What do you care what the people I live with make? They aren’t going to pay for my medical bills. WTF. (That actually made me giggle, it sounds so stupid).

Then also, I most likely wont have a job in a couple of months. So if I am denied, I’ll have to do the whole process over again. It’s all a big mess I tell you. This is USA. Right? Wait let me check . . .  yes it is. I told my friend about it to blow off some steam. His response was, “guess we’re moving to Canada.”

 

 

Keto Diet

If you have been living under a rock just as I have, you have no clue what the keto diet is. I have only recently been informed that this is the new diet that is totes “in” right now. It’s trending and its only a matter of time before its more popular then being vegan. Everyone is on it.

But, what exactly is the keto diet? A keto or ketogenic diet is a very low-carb diet, which can help you burn fat more effectively. According to the internet. Don’t take anything I say literal because I am no doctor and I do not have one ounce of knowledge in my brain about being healthy, but I mean if its online its basically stone cold facts. Right?

If you are slow like me it will take you countless websites and about an hour of reading to finally catch on to what this trend in eating is actually about. But, here, let me simplify it for you. Basically…or allegedly, if you stop eating carbs, your body will burn fat. And as I read on some sites, your body burns fat faster than it burns carbs. So logically, because you know we are, not eating carbs your body will be FORCED to burn fat. Isn’t that just lovely? Sounds like a lie right? It might be but who knows.

On this diet you can not eat any carbs or sugars. I feel like I haven’t said that enough so I said it again. Only eat fats. “Healthy fats”. You can’t just think your going to go out and eat fried things and what not, no, calm down, sit down, I’m not finished. You have to eat like chicken and eggs and cheese and all that crap. No bread, tortilla, candy, and (god help us) NO FRIES. Oh and to make matters worse NO PIZZA. Ok I know I’m losing some of you on this diet right? I literary heard someone click off.

People are actually losing weight on this diet though. They are losing it drastically. Not like try it one day and be a Victoria secret model the next day fast, but still pretty fast. So the big question is should you do it? Should I do it? I don’t now. You can do what ever you want. Seems like its worked for some people. But at the same time I love food to much to be anal about what I can and can not eat, you know what I mean?

Look, I’ve tried being a vegan, vegetarian, and all that and nothing has ever helped me lose weight then me just eating healthy. A good balanced diet never hurt no one. Sure, cut some sugar out of your life and maybe put those fries down. Instead of five slices of pizza only eat three, you’ll thank me later. And most importantly, or not really but I just needed a good transition phrase, exercise.


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Game Plan

Ok, so I have a game plan (I think).

 

Yesterday I had what someone would call an epiphany. But what do I call it? I call it a wake up call from my stupidity. I am fat. Lets just get straight to the point here. Don’t sit there and tell me other wise, because you can’t see me, and honestly that’s a good thing. You should be grateful. You should pray to God or what ever you do and feel blessed you can’t see aaaall this.

Also, don’t come at me with the whole, you should love yourself just the way you are BS. Because, I do. I do love myself. That’s why I always buy myself food and please my taste buds like I do. Its not that I care what other people say either because I high key don’t anymore. But at the same time I don’t want to look like a fat pig either you know?

Ok, all physical appearances aside, lets talk about the health side of this. I get heartburn maybe about seven times a day. That’s not ok because it means I’m harboring battery acid in my stomach or something and it needs to stop. ASAP. I am buying about 30$ worth of anti acids a month and that money can be going to something else. Plus, I’m constantly weak. I get tired so fast, I have no endurance what so ever. I tried to pick up some cardboard today at work and I needed to sit down and meditate afterwards because I felt like I was about to get a hemorrhoid or pull a muscle.

So what am I going to do? Well, after researching and coming to the horrid conclusion that I can not afford any type of surgery, I have decided that I have to take this matter into my own hands. No, I will not be preforming surgery on myself, silly goose. I will be, ugh, dare I say it… “eating healthy and exercising.”

I know that the first step is the hardest. So, what I have made is a list. A list of things that I will not eat. I didn’t go all hardcore on it either or else I might go crazy and bite a live cow or something. I also told my self that I will be going walking every single day for two weeks straight. Just to see if I see a change. I REALLY WANT TO SEE A CHANGE. I’ll take it slow the first couple of days (because I am slow). And I will try my best to keep it up.

I live in So Cal (that’s California, us hipsters call it that ….hahah..ha). So technically it’s summer here already. Summer started the last time it rained. Its been an average of 75 degrees this whole week. Its only going to get hotter and I want to be able to show off my rockin’ hot bod. “But, Peter! You should feel comfortable in your own skin,” you said. You’re right. And I do, but I’m an attention whore not really but yeah and I want to be complimented, so there’s that.


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