This Is My Country Too

I was not born in America. But I was raised American. I am not a citizen of America. But I know more about this country then those who are telling me to go back to ‘mine’. I am from another country, yet I do not know anything about the country that I came from. I know of it, but not the way I know American history.

I have been in this country since I was 2 years old. Was I asked to be brought here? No. Did I have a choice to be here? No. It is not my fault that I am here. Should I pay for that now in my adult life?

I grew up thinking I was the same as everyone else. I grew up thinking I was going to go college and then get a good job and live the american dream, because I myself thought I was American.

Now I see the news and I read the comments and see how people of this country that I grew up loving but not being able to be part of want me to return to a country I have not even known since I was a toddler. I don’t even remember it. This is my home, this is where I grew up, this is where I have all my friends and family. This is my country too.

I wish I could ask them what they think I would be able to do in a country I don’t know anything of. I would like to ask them that if the circumstances were the same with their parents, would they say the same thing?

I’m not saying that what my parents did in bringing me here was a good idea, nor am I saying it was the right thing to do. Obviously it wasn’t the correct way to do it. I know that, I understand that. But why do I have to pay for it? I am a good person, I have not hurt anyone, I’m going to school, I take care of my mother and brother. I obey the laws.

Sure if I was out in the streets running a muck and hurting people, well yeah, go ahead, throw me out, who wants trash in their home?

But is it really only immigrants that are running the streets?

Dreamers are called dreamers because they are dreaming of the day they can be legal and go to school, better their lives, and give this country what this country has given them.

Of course there are people out there that make mistakes, and they should be held accountable by their actions. But, what have I done?

I wanted to talk about this because today in the Supreme court they will discussing DACA. This has helped many children and young adults like me who were brought when they were young to the United States to gain the ability to work and go to school.

I don’t understand why people are freaked out about this. It is not giving just “anyone” status. No, its giving it to that person who you went to school with. That person who tried their best in school fearing that one day they were going to lose their family.

We are not criminals, we are just like you and your children, do we not deserve a good life too?

Online Interview

I have been MIA for what seems like a while now. Its so weird to constantly be writing and then stop very abrupt and then come back, I hate that.

Its currently 12:27 AM on Sunday the Fifth, how is everyone? Probably asleep, but anyways, I was editing for what seemed to be hours and I figured I’d stop and take a moment to talk out how my interview went the other day. But, you know, I like to keep the suspense… lol.

 

Thursday, I had a second interview for a place I’d like to work at. Its not glamours or anything but it should pay the bills if I do end up getting it. It was a video interview (online).I have never actually been interviewed this way before, and I’ll let you know that it was much less intimidating than being interviewed in person.

I took a shower, put on my comfortable gym shorts, put on a white T, and then buttoned up a dress shirt that I felt was clean enough. All they were going to see was my upper body right? Well wrong, my laptop was so close to my face I don’t even think they saw my neck.

The interview itself went pretty smooth. The interviewer asked me those scenario questions that they always do. I tried my best to answer them as best (truthfully) as I could, but hey, I know my way around words when I really want something, is all I’m going to say.

Now the next step is to wait. I have to wait for an email saying if I meet the right qualifications and all that sort of thing. I really hope I get it. I was off Thursday and Friday because I had asked for them off to go on a trip with my mom and friend but it was later canceled, which was pretty good, because that way I was able to schedule the interview right away.

Later that day I got a text from a coworker who said that they had a company meeting and the General Manager told them that they should, “look for another job, before you get fired or let go.” I am no lawyer but isn’t that some sort of threat to your job? Your employer can’t do that right? It just sounds wrong, at least to me it does.

Either way I am so glad I am trying to get out of that place. Mark my words I had said that that place was eventually going to fall apart, and look, seems like its already starting to crumble.

I want to do the right thing though, if I get hired somewhere else, I want to give them a two weeks notice. Not for the company, but for my own reputation, you know what I mean? And also for closure, for me, and for my coworkers. I do not have a strong connection to any of them if I’m honest, but maybe they have one with me and I don’t want to hurt them by not saying goodbye.

Any who, that’s that, I need sleep, enjoy the rest of your day and I will enjoy my bed.


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Tattoo Removal

I bleeping love tattoos. I always wanted a tattoo when I was younger. I was always afraid to get one. Then when I went to college (yes I did go, it was a blink of an eye moment, but nonetheless I still went), I got my first tattoo. “Brave warrior” right on my left shoulder.

I got inspired by a Demi Lovato lyric. When I heard her song Warrior it spoke to me in the loudest way possible. I feel like I relate to that song so well because I have been through the thickest of mud and the hardest of concrete and I am still here. Sure, bruised, beat up, in pain, but HERE.

The day I got that tattoo, I nearly fainted. Or I did, can’t remember, but the rush was great. I loved it and I have loved it ever since. Then months later I got another tattoo near the crease of my arm/ elbow. In the same area I got another small tattoo in San Fran.

Those tattoos mean the world to me. They mean so much because I got them with friends that I cherish and I look back at those times and I smile because it was honestly one of the best moments in my life.

But sadly. When I went through my “I’m a virgin for God” phase I started the process of getting them removed, and till this day I still do. Even though I am getting them removed that doesn’t mean I regret them. Sounds like hypocrisy but give me a sec to explain.

Even though I go and come back from Church I still feel like getting them removed. Not the one on my shoulder though. That one is staying because it has a special meaning to me that no one can take away.

The process of getting them removed though. OMG. Ok just picture this, and this is as accurate as I can get ok? So lets just say you take a fork, yes a fork, and you go to your stove, the flames are blazing like they are welcoming you into hell, and you lay the fork there for a good ten minutes or so. Then you grab the fork, and start poking at your skin like there’s no freaking tomorrow. That’s how it feels to get a tattoo removed.

Oh, and get this, it gets better, every single time you go back it gets worse. That’s right, its like they left the dam fork an extra minute on the eternal flames of death.

Of course its not an actual fork that they use, its this little tiny cute laser that blasts into your skin. Lovely. It breaks down the ink in your skin so your body can take care of the rest and dispose of the ink when you use the Wiz Palace. It’s actually a beautiful process that lasts just about 3 years.

If you’re lucky enough maybe you had an inexperienced tattoo artist with cheap ink, so then your removal will be a walk in the park. If you went to a good tattoo artist who has amazing Mona Lisa work of arts and has that high end ink derived right from under the throne of Satan, then your walk in the park is going to be a 3 AM, getting mugged and beat up while also getting hit with a stick, then later peed on my a dog, type of walk. Wonderful.

If you want a tattoo just make sure you want that on you for the rest of your life. I know you already heard that a millions times, but I don’t give a dam bro, listen. You remember those dope shoes you bought that were over priced but you just had to have them because you wanted to be “the cool kid”. Or even if that wasn’t you, just picture those shoes or heels (for the ladies, whats up gurl) that you love, now its been years, they smell. They look worn out, they have this weird smell that is concerning, they’re drooping and now instead of “nice kicks man” you get “dang son can’t you afford new shoes?”

That’s a tattoo.


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Busy New Things

I finally took it upon myself to start my writing blog. It’s amazing how long I have procrastinated on actually writing anything in that blog. I created that blog maybe more than a year ago, and the other day I barely wrote my first post. It was more of an introduction post, but nonetheless it was a post and a first step is a first step no matter how big or small it is.

I am excited to write. Of course, I’m not a college grad or in college to say the least, but I do have a dream. So for the moment I want to practice with my imagination, which is mainly why I created the writing blog. To practice. Since my writing skills aren’t not at its best don’t expect anything that is mind blowing, or do? Who knows, maybe I’ll write something that is actually semi good. In the mean time, I’ll be here, writing.


Tomorrow is my first day back to work form my almost four week family leave. I know I will be asked so many questions regarding my absence. I’ll also have to be updated on any new things that may have changed while I was gone. It will be hectic, maybe even a little stressful, but I know I will be able to hang in there.

The thing is getting back to a normal routine. Getting back to the rhythm of things is always hard. I know this for a fact. I’ve been eating without limits, going to bed at random hours, and relaxing at home with no worries. But all this will change now that I am forced to be somewhere for eight hours a day five days a week.

Also happening tomorrow, my mom will be seeing her doctor to check up on her post surgery. She’s doing so much better and manages to get around. I’m so glad I was here to help her through everything and more than happy she is doing better and content with how the surgery went.

There’s no doubt that the end of this October will be full of new surprises and busy and new things .

Much To Tell

Writers block.

You could say that I have writers block. My brain has been really empty for the first part of August. Or maybe I should say that my life has been empty. Nothing much has happened since the last time I wrote. I usually wrote when something happens and an idea forma in my head.

That’s basically why I’m writing now. The idea; writers block. So, basically I would have to write and mumble about how it’s affecting me and what not. But that sounds really boring to say the least.

Then, I thought hey I just came out to a coworker maybe that’s a good story to tell. But it wasn’t really a coming out story because I never really said I was gay. At the same time she kind of understood me on so many levels. With her being a lesbian too I think she saw it in my eyes. So there’s not much to tell there.

But alas! This weekend I will have much to tell, I promise.