Broke to Immensely in Debt

The unemployment system sucks ass.

First off, the pay sucks, second if you have any concerns or questions about your case or what ever it is you are trying to solve don’t even bother calling because all you will get is an answering machine, there is literally no option to speak to a real breathing person. Not to mention their only window to call is 8 am to 12 pm.

This is has been my life for the past couple of weeks. My unemployment is all gone, used up. So I have gone from being broke to immensely in debt. My credit cards are slowly going to start maxing out, and then I’ll start freaking out.

I have been applying to jobs for weeks now, I’m starting to think that my resume is not one of the best, even though my teacher helped me on it.

What I’m looking for is a part time job. I have school, I have my internship, and then I want to spend time with my boyfriend. Yet, I can’t get a job. I lost count of all the places I have applied to, its ridiculous.

I have thought of going to a work agency, but I have stopped myself because of my availability. They would have to find some where really special for me.

I already talked it with my boyfriend, letting him know that if and when I get a job we might have to see each other less. He was cool about it, more cooler that I wish he would have been but maybe he needs a break from my crazy needy ass.

I could try to add an extension to my unemployment, but I am so over them. I have had so many issues with them in the beginning of the whole process and I really don’t want to go through all that again, I’d rather get a job. Even if I have to loose sleep.

My internship is over in a couple of months, I have worked two jobs before and they have lasted just as long, so I figure I can do it again, which is why I’m looking for a night job or something.

At this point I’m willing to sell my kidney.

Another Surgery, Another Interview

I had a really long day the other day, Friday.

My mom had yet another surgery, and I had another job interview. There was also no food in the fridge so we needed that as well. For the most part my morning was super hectic.

These surgeries are getting to feel numb to me. When my mom tells me she has another one in a couple of weeks I already know the routine.

She wont eat 12 hours ahead, we wake up at the peak of dawn, drive to the hospital, register in, go upstairs, then register me as the “driver”, sit and wait to be called in, get called and she changes into a gown, wait a little more and then go into yet another room where the surgeons talk and the anesthesiologist lets my mom know she is in safe hands, she then gets a really small dose of the anesthesia, and then bam, shes rolled away to the OR and in surgery and I’m left waiting until they call me.

To some these seem like a lot, but to me its just a simple doctor visit. I wish it didn’t sound as cruel as it sounded but even for my mom its become a part of life, as if its a thing everyone goes through. She wasn’t even nervous this time around, she was a boss, she walked with confidence and was eager to just be done with it.

This feeling of “insensitivity” (which is not even an accurate definition of the feeling) doesn’t make the experience any less sucky. We still hate that she has to go through all of this, granted she is cancer free now and has been for 3 years, but the after math this thing causes is so bad. The good part is that its over for now and shes back home happily sleeping and dreaming in drug land with unicorns and talking butterflies.

Meanwhile, I had to go to an interview. I left the hospital as soon as they took her in and went grocery shopping. This isn’t the first time I leave when shes under surgery. My thought is sure I can stay but what is that going to do? Am I going to help the Surgeons? Plus, I need to keep my brain busy or else it wonders and then I can’t find it.

I bought the groceries we needed and headed home to put them away and change to go to my interview. I wasn’t nervous and I wasn’t excited, I was rushing with everything that I didn’t even have time to feel. It was the only slot they had and it was unfortunately around the same time that my mom was in surgery.

Now, lets talk about the interview. They really don’t scare me. You either like me or you don’t, period. Yes, I’m going to talk good about myself and sell you the best person that you can possible hire, but I’m not going to sell myself out either.

The position that they posted said “customer service” and the description had something to do with being the middle man between the company and the clients. I thought I was going to get a desk and a phone. But no, the lady who interviewed me and another girl (I guess they decided to do a two for one special) told us that we would be placed in stores and walk around and ask people if they want solar panels. WTF. THEN PUT THAT IN YOUR FUCKING DESCRIPTION LADY.

Before entering the interview, me and the other person getting interviewed started talking in the waiting room. She said how she can’t stand jobs that post that they are customer service jobs but its actually marketing. That you have to go out door to door and sell things, or make cold calls. She didn’t want that, I don’t either, boy were we in for a surprise.

Once I picked up my mom and came home, I received a call from the secretary of the company that said that the interviewer really liked me and would like me to return for a one on one interview for the next step. I politely declined.

I don’t know if this makes sense but I’ll say it anyways, on some days I am a people person and on others I don’t even want to talk to the voices in my head. So no, I could not take the job.

So there’s that. I am not upset and I don’t think I am sad, I just feel blah. Like ugh what can I do? That’s just life. I almost ate my feelings by going to Starbucks and ordering something super sweet and unhealthy, but I didn’t.

Because I remembered, I don’t have a job, and I don’t have any money.

Internship Interview

I had my first internship interview today.

I have to be completely honest by saying that I almost didn’t even go. I was really nervous and a little upset that it was so far away. Not to mention I was sick, so the whole drive over I was just in a bad mood with myself.

I even debated on weather I should just tell my teacher that I wouldn’t be able to make it because I was too sick. But instead I talked myself into just biting the bullet and just winging the interview just for the experience, then maybe after telling my teacher to send me somewhere closer.

To my surprise though, I really liked the place and the interviewer. She was very nice and seemed to really like me and my experience. I also liked the position. The place is a non-profit, I will be working under her supervision in the marketing and service department for the business doing clerical and administrative things.

I don’t know yet if I have the internship job, she still has to go over the applicants resumes and then she will inform our teacher, but I do hope that I get it. At first I really didn’t even want to go, but in the end now I want that internship.

It was a feeling or a sense of belonging. As though that is where I should be, that is where the universe wants me to be. In other words it just felt right.

Fingers are crossed so hopefully I get it.

A Better Beginning

A week from today I will be unemployed.

I’m excited. I know someone who’s losing a job usually freaks out, but ever since I knew it was coming I really sat down to think about it.

Maybe I’m in a state of shock? Who knows. I feel fine. I feel good. If my job was a place I would enjoy going to then maybe I’d be more preoccupied in not leaving or getting laid off.

This week my employer notified the unemployment offices about the mass lay off. They came in and had some few presentations that were very helpful.

At the end of the day, with all this new information, and from what I had previously wanted and thought about, I came to a conclusion. Going back to school.

I’ll have an income, thanks to the unemployment. It won’t be much but I’ll manage. And there are many forms of help I can receive for schooling. Not sure what I want to do at the moment, but I do know that this is the time I can do it.

I can’t waste my time sitting at home or jumping right into the next job. This is a great opportunity. That’s why I’m not scared. That’s why I don’t mourn this loss. Because it isn’t one. It’s an ending yes. But an ending that leads to another beginning. A better beginning.

45 And Counting

Seeing as I am now 45 days close to not having a job, searching for a new one has become a top priority. I am not looking forward to being unemployed and collecting unemployment. Sure I hate my job, that doesn’t mean I want to stay home and work the government. Some of my coworkers are thrilled to do so and can’t wait. That annoys the heck out of me.

I received a call last week for an interview, I went and it actually turned out to go very well. It was for a delivery driving position. Something I have not yet jumped into. The manager who interview me asked if I wanted to tag along with one of the drivers and see if it was a good option for me.

I thought it was a great opportunity. What other job asks you to come in and just basically watch what they do and see if you like it? Not many. The job seemed fairly well, as the manager described it. But this way I would be seeing it and hearing it form the horses mouth.

Today was the day of the ‘ride along’ as he called it. The driver that I shadowed was very friendly but at the same time very straight forward. This is what I needed. I didn’t need someone to sell me the job again and tell me lies. I also didn’t need someone to bash on their own job and make it seem like it was a hell hole. He explained the cons and the pros and paved the way for me to decide what I would do.

The job itself is not bad. It’s honest, and technically, I would be making the same amount of money that I make now. The downfall? I would be driving a lot more. I would be getting up a lot earlier and I would be getting home a lot later as well. For someone who loves to drive, this is hard for me because driving a car is not the same as driving a 20 foot truck, in the middle of the summer , to one of the hottest valleys in the desert. Like I said, I love driving, I believe that this job would make me start to hate it.

Am I upset? No. I know there will be jobs that appear to be great. I may not like them. That’s why I have all this time to decide which job I choose. I want to be 100% sure I want the job I will get. For some reason that feeling wasn’t there for this job.

I have faith though. I will get a nice job that I like. I’m not looking for the pay as much as I’m looking for the environment and feel of it. I want to be happy. That’s my goal for the rest of the year. Doing me, getting happy.

T-Minus — 60 Days

It is official. On July 25th of this year, I will be unemployed.

They finally took us out of the dark last Thursday and gave us all the letters that some were dreading and some where waiting for. There were a lot of rumors going around about what was going on and what would be happening with all the changes made up until the termination date.

There was only one department saved from the mass lay off of the company. Lucky them. Some people in other departments didn’t see that as being fair, but the reason that they are staying is that they are already working in the only place where the company is still make its money, and will continue after the lay off.

We had two options. Willingly say that we want to be in the group to be let go, get a severance pay and also collect unemployment. Or say that we wanted to stay and then wait until they decide if they needed us or not.

For now, I need to work on my resume. I wont be jumping into the first job that I am able to get. (If I can even get a job). I really want to get a job I am at least ok with. I have only had jobs that I have hated and its only done me really wrong. This time I need to be smart and actually get a job that I want and not need. 

I know it can be hard. Getting a job you actually want is very rare. First you have to look for what you want. Then you have to make sure its a good fit for you, a smart choice. You also have to see if you can even qualify for the job, not to mention all the interviews that you have to go through. Those are tough and extremely overwhelming.

In my entire working life I have only had three jobs where I have had to interview for. The first one was really easy. It was for a fast food place. I don’t see how even I could have screwed that up. And I didn’t, so I go that job. At the job that I have now I had help because I was thrown in there by a work agency, but then later when I applied for a position I wanted, I got it. I only did because I knew the supervisor that was interviewing. The other job I interviewed for and got was at a call center. I was recommended, so there was a certain confidence that I carried with me in there which I believe got me that job.

The only thing that sucks about interviews is when you don’t get the job after. But I am getting ahead of myself with that. First I have to find a job that I like, and for that, I have to know what I want. At the moment, I don’t.

W.A.R.N.

I . . . didn’t go to work today. Don’t roll your eyes at me. I know I sound like a broken record. But, this time it wasn’t because of my anxiety or because I literally hate everyone at work. No, this time it was different. There is actual justification. Well, not that anxiety isn’t justification, but you know what I mean, well you don’t, but you will.

My job has yet to let anyone know who will be staying and who will be kicked out do to the downsizing. There was a note posted from headquarters, which if you actually pay attention to, it can give you valuable information. The letter said the basic info that we all already knew. The cut backs, the business move to the east coast and all that other formal stuff. But, it also said when people would be let go.

It said that the “terminations” would take place during July 22nd to August 22nd. Since the law in California states that your employer has to give you a 60 day notice before termination, one can conclude that the WARN letters will be handed out this week, starting the 22nd.

Last week they were asking everyone what they wanted to do. Be put on the list to possibly stay or be put on the list to be laid off. I chose to be laid off. At least I hope I am. Who knows how much longer the company will last even when the downsize happens. Plus this is a great way to get references and recommendations, plus help with my resume. (They said they would provide it , so I hope they do).

Since then, work has gotten slower and slower. I think that its going to be like this until the place comes down. You know its funny, I was telling a friend, (this might sound morbid, so cover your virgin little ears if you don’t want to hear) but, all those times that you wish your job would come down in flames? (Or was it just me?). This is like that. Not literal of course, but in a way its symbolic, at least for me it is.

Anyway, I got sent home early on Friday because of the lack of work. When I was home my boss texted me and asked if I wanted to stay home for Monday since there was still not going to be any work. I’ve never texted anyone faster in my life when I told her that I would love to stay home. Sucks that I have to go back now though.

So, that’s why I didn’t go to work today. I know, very long unnecessary explanation but I felt the need to elaborate a little. I could have just said that my boss asked if I wanted the day off, but then again, there would be no post, would there? *wink*

Severance

Yesterday, along with all my coworkers, we found out that the company we work for is going to downsize more than half of the employees. We are currently staffed at 150 and they’re goal is to get down to 60 by July. That does not include management, which there are 15 and will go down to 3.

They explained that the company moved to the west coast here in California a while ago to supply the demands of customers here. They thought that by having the business closer to them they would profit and all. That did no work out. So they are moving back to the east coast where headquarters is currently at. There will only be one account left here in California, and the 60 people that remain will be supplying that accounts product.

There are so many questions that people have. They are concerned. I feel them. They have families, car payments, houses they just bought. But I am not that worried. I want to leave that place. If you have been reading my blog for a while now, you know how much I hate it there. And looking back at it now it all makes sense. The cut backs, the high demand in production, and the excessive firing for dumb stupid reasons.

There will be a pay out. Only a month’s worth, but still, some people are happy about that. Some people can’t wait to collect unemployment. Others, they actually want to be part of the 60 that stay. Nothing is certain. No one knows how they will be electing the people. No one knows when they will start issuing the WARN letters. Technically after they hand you that letter, 60 days from that day will be your last.

I have not heard anything from the job I interviewed at. I was worried before, but now I know that if it was meant to be it would have been. I know I have to keep trying and trying until something comes up. I do not believe in unemployment. Living off the government is not something I am ok with. I know I hate working, but everything I have I have worked for it, I am not one to get things handed to, I don’t do that.

 

But deep down inside. Some where deep deep in there, there is doubt, there is worry, and I fear when it will rise, because when it does. It’s not going to be pretty.


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Look For A Job While You Have A Job

The rumors are true. As you may or may not (or now will now) know. I was off for two days. And during those days I missed so much information.

One, the company I work for is broke. You can buy a stock for just about 20 american dollars. Second, everyone is quitting and getting another job.

Ok, lets take this one step at a time. So how is my work broke? I don’t have the least amount of clue. Last year the company itself with all its subsidiaries was worth 17 billion dollars. But some how, the stocks have dropped almost 30% a month in the past three months. I was unaware of this. And by the looks of it so were all my other coworkers. I don’t know why no one saw it coming since they were being really stingy with money and laying people off, but that’s none of my business.

My work had a “town hall” meeting where the General Manager proceeded to advice everyone that is it better to “look for a job, while you have a job.” I got a text from a coworker last week about this lovely quote that was said to them and since it was out of context I thought he was threatening everyone jobs.

Now going back to work and getting all the sides from the story I can see why he said it. He’s even worried that our site will be shut down. And if you want my honest opinion, it probably should. There are more than 20 claims that come in a week from customers that are missing product or don’t actually get what they asked for. Not to mention the management sucks in every way, shape, and form.

Second thing, almost no one was at work today. I’v never seen my job so empty. I’m thinking that most people called off to go job hunt after being told that the place that they work at might be shutting down soon. I’m glad I have been looking for a new job. But at the same time, nothing is coming in, yet. 

Regardless of this place closing or not, I want to leave. If I am still there when it does, I don’t even care, but I don’t want to let that happen.

So excuse me while I continue to devour the internet in search of a better place to work.


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Online Interview

I have been MIA for what seems like a while now. Its so weird to constantly be writing and then stop very abrupt and then come back, I hate that.

Its currently 12:27 AM on Sunday the Fifth, how is everyone? Probably asleep, but anyways, I was editing for what seemed to be hours and I figured I’d stop and take a moment to talk out how my interview went the other day. But, you know, I like to keep the suspense… lol.

 

Thursday, I had a second interview for a place I’d like to work at. Its not glamours or anything but it should pay the bills if I do end up getting it. It was a video interview (online).I have never actually been interviewed this way before, and I’ll let you know that it was much less intimidating than being interviewed in person.

I took a shower, put on my comfortable gym shorts, put on a white T, and then buttoned up a dress shirt that I felt was clean enough. All they were going to see was my upper body right? Well wrong, my laptop was so close to my face I don’t even think they saw my neck.

The interview itself went pretty smooth. The interviewer asked me those scenario questions that they always do. I tried my best to answer them as best (truthfully) as I could, but hey, I know my way around words when I really want something, is all I’m going to say.

Now the next step is to wait. I have to wait for an email saying if I meet the right qualifications and all that sort of thing. I really hope I get it. I was off Thursday and Friday because I had asked for them off to go on a trip with my mom and friend but it was later canceled, which was pretty good, because that way I was able to schedule the interview right away.

Later that day I got a text from a coworker who said that they had a company meeting and the General Manager told them that they should, “look for another job, before you get fired or let go.” I am no lawyer but isn’t that some sort of threat to your job? Your employer can’t do that right? It just sounds wrong, at least to me it does.

Either way I am so glad I am trying to get out of that place. Mark my words I had said that that place was eventually going to fall apart, and look, seems like its already starting to crumble.

I want to do the right thing though, if I get hired somewhere else, I want to give them a two weeks notice. Not for the company, but for my own reputation, you know what I mean? And also for closure, for me, and for my coworkers. I do not have a strong connection to any of them if I’m honest, but maybe they have one with me and I don’t want to hurt them by not saying goodbye.

Any who, that’s that, I need sleep, enjoy the rest of your day and I will enjoy my bed.


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