January 2018 – June 2018

Another six months have passed. These first months of this year have been insane. I never imagined so many things would happen in my personal life. I never thought I would make it this far either. Welcome to memory lane.

So the start of January was basically the start of many problems. I got really close to a church friend at the end of last year and I was ready to come out to him. And I did. I kind of new that would be the start to our down fall as friends. It was a series of emotional and spiraling events that soon led to us drifting apart.

But alas, I am getting to ahead of myself. In February I had many appointments with my mom and her doctor. We are still trying to get her final appointment for her surgery right this moment. Also, in February I quit the second job I was working at, the call center. I remember quitting for 2 reasons. Around this time I started listening to the voices inside my head, and all the bad things that they had to say.

Then, after waiting another month we finally got to see the surgeon who told us we had two options in regards to my moms reconstruction surgery. I started to see cracks in my friendship with my best friend. Looking back and reading everything I wrote really makes me reflect that sometimes it wasn’t even his fault. I was under a lot of stress and I wasn’t handling it how I should have, he probably wasn’t either.

April was a real life changing month for me. I even planned on doing something that could have changed it for ever. Now more than ever I am glad I didn’t. Even though I was alone with no one to help me, I was there, and I saw my worth. I also new I needed to be paid more. Or maybe get a new job and move far away. This was the month I also added two family members to our family. I love them with all my heart, but they will never replace my first dog’s love.

As spring went into full bloom so did I in the dating world. I was here and I was there but never did I get to love. I took some risks and had some fun, but ultimately ended up with a broken heart. But nonetheless, that didn’t stop me from having the time of my life on this world!

So now we’re in June. My month. The month I was born in. Time flies by. I remember the day I stopped talking to my best friend. But I also remember the day I forgave him. I tried to be social, I successfully completed one of them and failed another. But that’s ok, there are many more times to come.

So as for the rest of this year, I can be assured that there will be many more heart breaks. Many more adventures, tears, and I know I’ll have to forgive and forget. I know I’ll have to learn from my mistakes. And everything will be here, on my journal.