This Is My Journal Blog

We have hit a mile stone! As of today, yes, today. Write it down on your calendar because it is important to me. I have my own domain! *insert cheers here*.

 

The other day I was wondering through the internet (as one millennial would do) and as I approached my blog, I was not logged into word press. I wanted to see what the reader sees when they click on my blog. Well, what I found was horrendous. I almost had a heart attack. There were so many ads.

 

Was I promoting what ever it was you were seeing? No. Was I making money off of that? No. That’s why I was shook. I literally fell out of my chair. If there are going to be ads on my page then you bet your little smooth bottom I’m going to be profiting off of those, so when you see them in the future click on them and help me make a living ok? OK. Just kidding, wordpress please don’t sue me.

 

I have been on this site for a little over 2 years now. This is actually my third year on this site. Don’t you think its time we make some changes? Sure the “don’t fix whats not broke” thing might come in here but change is good. Well some change, like this change. Ok, I’m not making any sense but you get the picture, right?

 

Any ways, welcome once again to my official Blog.

 

*Cuts ribbon*

*Champagne bottle pop noise thingy*


Youtube

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It’s Here

Yes, after maybe about two weeks it has finally arrived.I don’t know why I am putting so much emphasis on this but here it is. The YouTube video no one asked for and and no one was waiting for lol.

 

I know its not the best video on the internet. Its not the best quality either, but hey I’m starting out and its hard. No one said it was easy. Nevertheless, it was super fun making it and I really enjoyed editing it. Maybe stayed up all night twice just to get it “right”.

 

Don’t worry. The next videos I make will be better. I bought a new camera! But I’ll talk about that later.

YouTube

YouTube.

Should I do it or not? Also, sorry that I’ve been blogging so much I’m really being extra this week. I’ve been thinking about starting a channel on YouTube. Is it a good idea? Not sure. Do I want to do it? Yes. Will I do it? Not really sure either.

Ok, so I’ve always wanted to do a YouTube channel. I don’t know why, I think it’s fun, hilarious, and just silly. I talk to myself constantly, why not just put that out there? I’ve been blogging for a little over two years, is it time to transition into Vlogging? (For the people who are uncultured, that means recording myself while talking about literally nothing that is beneficial to absolutely no one).

I love writing, don’t get me wrong, but somethings you just have random thoughts that you just blurt out and don’t even have a chance to write down. My thoughts happen to fast, faster then my fingers can type. And sometimes I say really weird and random things that make me laugh.

Let’s talk logistics here. I know it’s a lot of work. The filming, the editing, and all the stuff I have yet to learn and comprehend. For now, I’ll film in my iPhone, it’s pretty decent. But let’s be real, I’m not going to go out and buy an expensive camera and then all the sudden this thing doesn’t work out, no, gotta start small. For editing software I have this coworker who can hook me up with some really good stuff if I ask him. He’s kind of a nerd for that stuff.

My content? Well I’m glad you asked. One of my friends that I told actually did ask though. I’m not a beauty guru or any DIY smarty pants, so definitely not going to do that. I just want to vlog, all I want to do really is talk. Talk about what’s going on, my life, anything in general. That’s fun right? You’d watch? Probably not. I don’t really know of this is a good idea or if it’s just me living right now in the moment and someone just needs to stop me before it all falls apart but I’m actually very excited for this, like I’m living for this right now. And we’ll see how that goes.

2

I am no professional blogger. I’m not even a professional writer. Sometimes I miss spell words or either do not use the correct ones. I hope everyone understands what I try to say though. Although writing and reading are my most favorite things to do that doesn’t mean I’m good at them.

Two weeks ago marked two years I’ve had this blog. Two years I’ve been writing and spilling all my feelings for everyone on the internet to see. Two years that I’ve had ups and downs and written about them. My good days and bad days. All my flings and romances and even current relationships. Everything. The best way to get to know the real me would be reading my blog.

This post also marks my 200th post. For me that’s a huge milestone. But also, just to think that I’ve written that many posts, or in general said so many things, so many words and letters. It’s like an accomplishment. I’ve tried having a blog before and it never worked out. But this time, for some reason, I’ve been here.

I was going to write a post about what I’ve learned from blogging or of blogging. But, if I’m honest here, I haven’t learned much. I don’t see this place as a place to get views or followers. Sure having people that will read what you right is great! But that’s not why I do what I do. I’ve learned more about myself on this blog and I have to give thanks to it for that.

For example, I’ve learned that I’m a person who likes to express their feelings. And it’s totally fine! If you don’t express yourself, this feelings get bottled up and will eventually burst out, and sometimes you can’t control or handle the way they do. And maybe you knew that, but I didn’t.

Another thing that’s been really close to my heart that I’ve learned from this blog is that there are people out there that feel the same way as I do. Sure, you knew that , but I didn’t. We live life really blinded thinking that our situation is the only one on the planet. That’s not true, maybe there are people else where going through something that is similar to you. I’ve learned that through my readers comments and I appreciate every single one. Thank you.

I honestly do wish I would have started this blog way long ago. It would have helped me in so many ways. But I’m very great full I have it now.

Girlfriend, Religion, & Friends

Hello again,

 

I have been MIA for a while now. Looking back at some of my post I forgot how good it felt to write. Better said, I forgot how good it felt to let my feelings out. So many things have happened in the lifespan of two or so months. For a short summary I can say that I now have a girlfriend, I am more religious than I once was, or have ever been, and also I have left a lot of toxic friendships in the past.

 

I should explain the girlfriend part. I know, it even sounds weird when I say it myself, so it must sound out of this world reading it from your  point of view. How could you possibly have a girlfriend when last year all you did was brag about sleeping with men? I asked myself that question many times. So, what is my sexual orientation? I don’t even think I know now. But I do know that I very much am fond of a girl at the moment and I very do much enjoy being with her. For the least part, its been a few complicated years with my sexuality to say the least. But that’s for another day.

 

As for Religion. I am content. I think I hated my religion for long enough and this time instead of running away from the questions I had, I set my mind on looking for the answers. When some of them weren’t being answered to my satisfaction I did not stop, it only fueled my curiosity and it did take a while for me to find them. If you don’t believe in God I don’t blame you. You have many reasons not to. I had many reasons to hate Him. But that doesn’t mean I just stopped. I kept looking, and you should too. If you are in a religion, or you believe something and ask a question, one which they can’t answer, something is not right, I say look for the answer yourself, investigate. Don’t stop. Don’t quit. Most important don’t let go of your faith.

 

As for my friends, well I loved them to death. But in true honesty they weren’t doing me any good. Going out and spending money every week, doing thinds for no reason, I didn’t find a purpose for that. I asked myself if being around them actually made me happy. The answer was no. I felt drained. I felt as if I was the punching bag to everyone’s life. I gave them the best advice they never took. Not to mention our beliefs had changed as well. We slowly stopped having things in common. So we drifted apart. I haven’t seen them in more than three months now. Do I miss them? Just a little. Doesn’t mean I don’t have any friends. I gave my church friend a second chance after things with us got stale, and to be completely honest, I’ve never had a better friend than him. There are one or two friends I still talk to that do not share the same beliefs I do, but that’s ok. There is a certain level of understanding between us I will always cherish and hold near to my heart.

 

As for this blog, I miss it. I really do. I miss just ranting in general without anyone to interrupt me or roll their eyes at me. I remember when I first started this blog, I wanted it to be a place where I could speak my mind and talk freely. I would like to get back to that.