A while ago I told myself I was going to use the time I have right now to write a book. A book based on what I have gone through the past few years. From my sexuality to living a double life while being in a religion like cult. Both of those things still go in hand to hand and still to this day are something I am still coming to terms with.
The thing is, I wasn’t aware that it was something that was so complex. I was watching videos and I also read articles about the processes on how to write a memoir. It’s not an easy process.
I don’t want to give up though. I know that sometimes I can get discouraged very early on in the things that I want to do, but I feel the need to do this. I want to do it first of all for myself.
I have to be really honest here. I am really troubled towards where to even start. I want to tell my story and I want to be as honest as I can be. I want the truth to get out there. I want people to read and feel what I have been through. I want to document all my mistakes that I made. I know that it is my side of the story and its everything that has happened to me but that doesn’t make me any more of a saint or innocent. I made really poor decision in the past too and I want to write about those and maybe someone can learn from them just as I have learned.
The issue is where do I even start? How do I even start? What do I need to talk about? This is the first time I want to do some thing this big. What if no on wants to read it?
I over think way to much. We know that, but right now that I have the opportunity and time to do this I want to take advantage of it.
The only experience I have in writing is this blog that I have had for almost three years. Writing is my passion and I know that I am not the best of it, but maybe some day I will be.
I just want to put that out there. (Universe are you listening?). I’m doing it for myself and maybe it will help others out too. Who knows?
My all time dream is to become a writer. The thing is, I never actually knew what to write about. There are so many different forms of writing out there, so many different types of genres. Not to mention that there are millions of people that also want to be writers and authors. They want their voice to be heard.
I don’t even know where to start. How does one write a book? I need to research. I need to find out how I want to tell my story. Why I want to tell my story. Then, tell my story.
There are so many ways one can do so. There are so many outlets. Here on this blog I’ve been the most honest I’ve ever been to anyone. In my book I want to do the same.
Although I’m excited about this, I’m not going to rush it. I know a simple book can be written in about three months. But I want my book to be authentic. I want it to be accurate. Truthful. I need to get a good editor, but that’s until the end. I’m getting ahead of myself. It might take months maybe a year or so, but that’s ok.
This is a new start for me. A new journey. I’m excited but scared. I like change. It’s nerve racking but I love a good thrill.
We have hit a mile stone! As of today, yes, today. Write it down on your calendar because it is important to me. I have my own domain! *insert cheers here*.
The other day I was wondering through the internet (as one millennial would do) and as I approached my blog, I was not logged into word press. I wanted to see what the reader sees when they click on my blog. Well, what I found was horrendous. I almost had a heart attack. There were so many ads.
Was I promoting what ever it was you were seeing? No. Was I making money off of that? No. That’s why I was shook. I literally fell out of my chair. If there are going to be ads on my page then you bet your little smooth bottom I’m going to be profiting off of those, so when you see them in the future click on them and help me make a living ok? OK. Just kidding, wordpress please don’t sue me.
I have been on this site for a little over 2 years now. This is actually my third year on this site. Don’t you think its time we make some changes? Sure the “don’t fix whats not broke” thing might come in here but change is good. Well some change, like this change. Ok, I’m not making any sense but you get the picture, right?
Yes, after maybe about two weeks it has finally arrived.I don’t know why I am putting so much emphasis on this but here it is. The YouTube video no one asked for and and no one was waiting for lol.
I know its not the best video on the internet. Its not the best quality either, but hey I’m starting out and its hard. No one said it was easy. Nevertheless, it was super fun making it and I really enjoyed editing it. Maybe stayed up all night twice just to get it “right”.
Don’t worry. The next videos I make will be better. I bought a new camera! But I’ll talk about that later.
Should I do it or not? Also, sorry that I’ve been blogging so much I’m really being extra this week. I’ve been thinking about starting a channel on YouTube. Is it a good idea? Not sure. Do I want to do it? Yes. Will I do it? Not really sure either.
Ok, so I’ve always wanted to do a YouTube channel. I don’t know why, I think it’s fun, hilarious, and just silly. I talk to myself constantly, why not just put that out there? I’ve been blogging for a little over two years, is it time to transition into Vlogging? (For the people who are uncultured, that means recording myself while talking about literally nothing that is beneficial to absolutely no one).
I love writing, don’t get me wrong, but somethings you just have random thoughts that you just blurt out and don’t even have a chance to write down. My thoughts happen to fast, faster then my fingers can type. And sometimes I say really weird and random things that make me laugh.
Let’s talk logistics here. I know it’s a lot of work. The filming, the editing, and all the stuff I have yet to learn and comprehend. For now, I’ll film in my iPhone, it’s pretty decent. But let’s be real, I’m not going to go out and buy an expensive camera and then all the sudden this thing doesn’t work out, no, gotta start small. For editing software I have this coworker who can hook me up with some really good stuff if I ask him. He’s kind of a nerd for that stuff.
My content? Well I’m glad you asked. One of my friends that I told actually did ask though. I’m not a beauty guru or any DIY smarty pants, so definitely not going to do that. I just want to vlog, all I want to do really is talk. Talk about what’s going on, my life, anything in general. That’s fun right? You’d watch? Probably not. I don’t really know of this is a good idea or if it’s just me living right now in the moment and someone just needs to stop me before it all falls apart but I’m actually very excited for this, like I’m living for this right now. And we’ll see how that goes.