Feeling Better.

I just came back from going “home”.

It was nice to see my dogs, I’m not very sure if they missed me at all though, they seemed very underwhelmed.

My mom was there but she didn’t speak to me or even acknowledge my presence. Most of the time that I was there she stayed in the kitchen cooking. I didn’t bother to say hi or try to speak to her, I know it wouldn’t have turned out ok.

It was nice catching up with my brother though. I enjoyed the brief moment we had. He told me what my mom has done. Shes told the “elders” in the congregation about me. They told her that they saw it coming somehow. He also informed me that she got into a small dispute with the neighbor (who is also a Jehovah’s Witness) because she didn’t tell my mom that she thought I was gay.

I don’t know when I’ll see my mom, or even if I will see her ever again. Who knows. But I’m glad I was able to feel better, even thought I hate to say so.

 

Brother To BrotherĀ 

            I’ve heard stories about it and actually seen it happen in real life, but I never thought it would actually happen to me. 

            Family has to have the strongest bond. You see them every day and they basically know all you deepest secrets. You’re close to them like no one else. They know what you like, what you don’t, and your deepest desires. So what happens when they no longer want to carry on with that bond? 

            My brother isn’t the most social person. He isn’t loud, he doesn’t make friends easily. I understand that because I know how that feels. He’s seventeen now and really unmotivated. All he does day in and day out is spend his day on his phone or playing video games. 

            I ask him to wash dishes, or do something that needs to be done around the house. He gets up set and does it with a bad attitude.  

            I wonder if it’s just him or maybe that’s how every single teen is now a days? With the advancement of technology everyone just wants to sit and not do anything. My mom and I have encouraged him to get a job but he doesn’t want to. 

            Now he barely talks to me. Or gives me the silent treatment. I’m not forcing him to be someone else, I just wish he was a little more motivated. 

            Doesn’t he think that we need help? I know my moms cancer isn’t affecting him in this way because he was already like this before we found out about the news. Even so, that should motivate him to work and grow as a person. Not sit on the couch and just shoot at aliens all day. 

            I told my mom that I was going to take him out to lunch and talk to him. Just brother to brother. I don’t want to loose our connection and our relationship. He’s the closest thing I have to a friend. He is family and I want us to be in each other’s life forever. 

            I don’t want to end up like those stories, where brothers go their own ways never to talk to each other again. That’s tragic, and awfully sad. But is it too late?