If Its Not Love, Then Its Witchcraft

I’m having a bit of a writers block at the moment so excuse my recent absent these couple of weeks. I have been writing less and less. And by that I actually mean that nothing in my life is really happening, all except me falling in love, and I feel like writing about that is like shoving my love life down your throat and I’m not sure people want to read about all the lovely-dovey stuff that goes on for me. I could be wrong though.

BUT, seeing as this is my blog and I talk about heartbreak most of the time and I used to complain about love all the time in the past, I think its time I write about how good love has been treating me lately and how I think that I am actually starting to fall into it.

A little back story: The guy that I have been dating used to go to the same gym that I went to a little over a year ago. We didn’t interact until I was drunk dancing in a club one night and he was brave enough to ask me if I was that same guy from the gym.  After I answered ‘yeswith my lips on his we started talking for about a month after that. (This was last year when I was going through the whole “religion is my life” crisis). I stopped talking to him after that. A whole year later I find him on tinder and we reconnect.

 

Now, every single date that I go on with him is so great. It doesn’t even have to be special, it’s still so nice to see him. I enjoy spending time with him. We go together so well. The attraction is stronger than I ever felt it before with anyone.

During the beginning he told me he wanted to take things slow. I thought that was a  great idea. He said he didn’t want to ruin this by going too fast and pushing things. Isn’t that so sweet? Melts my heart every time I remember when he said that. At least for me it gives me the idea that he wants this to last, (which he does).

Sometimes he says things I’m already thinking, or he’ll say things that I want/need him to say and its like he’s in my brain. If its not love then its witchcraft, I swear. I want to say he understands me most of the time, if not all the time. And, when he is stuck on saying something I just look at him and I know what he’s saying. Why does it feel like I’ve known him longer than I have? Makes me want to believe in reincarnation. (Reincarnated lovers? Is that a thing?).

I know its too soon to be saying he’s “the one“. Because nothing in this life is for sure. Nothing is secure and anything can happen. But I feel so good about him. I feel happy, safe, loved, full of something in my belly that makes me warm all over. I think of him and I smile. I hear my phone go off and I run to it. He texts me something that is not even remotely funny and I cackle like Angelina Jolie in the Maleficent Movie trailer. 

We have talked about our dating expectations (because we are mature adults, thank you very much). We have talked about our pasts. We have talked about the most randomest things anyone could everrrrr.

I ask myself, could this be the beginning of something? I mean it is. I just don’t want it to have an ending. I want to take care of this relationship like a little baby. Protect it, feed it, nourish it, care for it, love it, and help it grow up into something beautiful.

My weekends are full of joy, because that’s when I get to see him. We spend almost all of it together. We laugh, we talk, we smile that dumb smile at each other like lovers do. My cheeks hurt by the end of the day after I am with him from smiling so much.

His friends love me, which is a huge plus. I still need to introduce him to my friends but I’m sure they’ll like him just as much as I do.

Was this destiny? Faith?

Who ever it was, thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hating Work Made Me Late

It’s Monday. I know, I’m sorry I reminded you. But mine is worse than your’s, hear me out. I woke up today like a usual normal day. (You know, hating the fact that I had to go to work). I did not want to get up at all, so I stayed in bed to an unreasonable time. The thought of going to work made me want to vomit all over myself.

But I got up as soon as I calculated that I had enough time to make it to work even though I stayed in bed as long as I could. I made my lunch, changed, and was in my car maybe five minutes later, if that’s not a world record I don’t know what is.

But get this. THIS was a sign from God. Or destiny or faith or what ever her name is. (Back story info: we have a gate that opens automatically at our home). So while I was trying to pull out of the drive way, the gate would not open. I was pressing the button uncontrollably and very aggressively and that didn’t seem to help. I even got off my car to see if pushing it would help. But I have the strength of a week old bunny so of course nothing happened.

As soon as I got back in my car the door magically decided it was time to open. After making me five minutes late and seeing how I was not going to make it to work on time in only ten minutes I decided to just use sick time and go in work two hours later.

A moment of relief came to me. No work for two hours, what a blessing. So with my time I decided to go to Starbucks because I’m basic as hell. And I wanted to work on my next YouTube video. So check that out.

The time has come though, I have to go to hell. I have 30 minutes to get there and I’m going to try to stretch every second that I came so it becomes longer, but at least on the bright side I wont be at work for that long .


Watch my latest YouTube video

Destiny, Fate, Or What Ever You Want To Call

Do you believe in fate? How about destiny? Many people believe that our lives are already planned out for us by a higher power and we are just following the path laid before us, are you one of them?

“Everything happens for a reason.”

This expression is very known. But what does it actually mean? Is it a positive expression? “Hey I found this 100 dollar bill on the ground, I really needed it, everything happens for a reason.”

Or maybe you happen to get a flat tire on the freeway, “well everything happens for a reason Susan.” That’s more negative, you see?

And to be completely honest I’ve heard it both used in a positive way and a negative way. But what happens when something happens so out of the blue that you don’t even know if it’s a good or bad thing?

Well maybe I’m going way to far out there on this and being too over dramatic. Depends how you look at things. Let me give you a little bit of a back story.

Since I’ve quit the gym I’ve been going to the local park to walk around. I’ve also been taking my mom since the doctors recommended her to exercise more as well.

My local park is no ordinary park, no no. There is also a library and a community center there as well. So picture this. There are people walking there dogs, kids playing on the play ground, and there are little league games going on in distant baseball fields.

This is where, destiny, fate, or what ever you want to call it comes into place. I’m walking on the side walk around the whole proximity of the park. I’d say it’s about a mile around.

I’m walking past the community center parking lot and this white car facing the side walk honks at me. At first I don’t pay attention. Why should I? I’m minding my own business waking on the side walk unbothered by everyone and everything else.

But then, they honk again and that’s when I turn. It was like a scene of a movie. An old friend happened to park in the exact same parking spot that I would be walking right in front of. What would be the chances? I haven’t seen her in maybe more than two months. And honestly not because I didn’t want to. I’ve been trying to change my lifestyle remember?

Get this, she was there because her moms friends daughter was having a quince party. That’s a huge blow out party in Latin culture when a girl turns fifteen. Sort of like a sweet sixteen.

She didn’t have to go to that party. But she was there. Parking her car exactly where and when I was walking. I really didn’t feel like walking at all. (I had just eaten Chinese food and felt more like sleeping). But there I was walking right in front of where she happened to park.

Coincidence? Fate? Destiny? What if I had to tie my shoe? I would have missed her. What if one, only one, of the traffic lights she had gone through was red instead of green? She would have missed me. I would have been on the other side of the park.

Maybe I’ve been looking into this way too much, I have had a lot of time on my hands today. But nonetheless this is just one of those moments in life that make you say wtf. Deep down I know it was a sign, I don’t know what sign, but it was a sign.

Swiper, No Swiping

I did it. I mean I really did it.

I deleted all my dating apps. I only had them for about two weeks but they were starting to take over my life.

Wake up, swipe, eat, swipe, drink, swipe, sleep, swipe. There was just too much swiping. I was getting matches left and right not to toot my own horn or anything.

They were mainly for hook ups but I did have some cool conversations with some of them. Even added them on social media .

But since I’m looking for love and I was not seeing a hint of that I had to let it go. I don’t think I believe in apps for relationships anymore. I don’t think I ever did I just really wanted it to happen. And it didn’t so my theory was proven right.

I always felt like dating through apps was too mechanical. As if you are trying too hard to find love. Love is supposed to happen just because right? Not on some app with some stranger that just happened to swipe right because he was like “eh he ok.”

So now I’m open to what ever. A friend says they have someone in mind for me , show me. If we happen to cross each other’s path then so be it. But I’m just really tired of trying ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .