I spent almost two weeks at my boyfriends house for Christmas and New Years. I have to say it was a great vacation, and just like mostly everyone, now its back to the real life.
Coming back home I thought things would feel different. Usually when I am gone for so long things seem to feel off or not just right when I come back, sometimes old things just feel new. But its as if I was only gone for a day. I’m not really sure if that’s just how time flies by now or if I really didn’t miss being home.
Tomorrow I go back to school and on Wednesday I have my first internship interview. I was emailed on my winter break by my teacher notifying me to be ready. The interview is at a nonprofit organization in the next town over. I would have preferred it to be closer since I wont be getting paid for it but I have to remember that I need to do this for the experience.
I have been sick with a fever and some body aches since last Thursday, which has not been fun, and I’m really hopping it all goes away by the time I have my interview. Today I just woke up with a sore throat.
I have to unpack all my things, take a warm shower, buy medicine, and then go shop for some ‘business attire’ since I have to dress Gucci now. (Hello more debt).
Unpacking is so sad. Like, you come back home from having a good time and realize the party is over. The good times are all finished and it all just seems like a dream. Like you woke up and you have to try your best not to forget the small details and all the good moments that happened. Ugh its all so sad. But we can’t dwell on it.
That’s just life isn’t it? Well, back to the grind.
Life changes so much it’s crazy. And sometimes those changes are good, and sometimes they’re not. People come and go out if your life just as more come in. Sometimes you’re surrounded by them and others you don’t know who to turn to.
This year for me has been filled with changes. From losing friends to meeting new ones. Being in relationships to breaking up and having a heart broken. Not to mention everything going on with my mother’s surgery.
To me, change is good. Change is an opportunity to learn new things and to also grow. Plus, I get really tired of always doing the same routine over and over again.
Recently I’ve been feeling like I need change. More in specific regarding my work. I don’t hate it, it’s not hard, and it’s not a terrible job. I work in a very decent place and everything is fine. But is it bad that I want to change that? I want to change it for something better.
I want to grow, I want to expand, and maybe even pursue my dream. There’s nothing wrong with that. I just don’t see myself working at my job the rest of my life. I know a lot of people think that way but no one actually does anything to change it.
I’m sitting at work currently day dreaming of a better place. I know in my last post I was talking about living on the beach. The thing is that I feel like I need change in my life. I have been doing the same routine for a while and I’m feeling bored.
Its most likely just me. But still, do you wake up every morning ready to go do the same boring shit every day? That’s what I feel I do. I know I shouldn’t be complaining and technically I’m not, I’m just venting, a lot of other people would love to be doing what I do or at least be in the position that I am now.
But, is it wrong to want change? Is It wrong to want to be doing something different? I want to learn new things and go to unfamiliar places. Is it wrong to want to aspire to be more than what I am now?
Most people would most likely say that I should go back to school and get a degree and work hard to get an excellent job and live life like everyone else on this planet. But, dude like did you even read what I just wrote. I don’t want to be boring!
Not that my life is that boring, it’s really not but the day to day, work, and everything in between is just so bland. I need adventure, I need excitement, I need change.
Today I woke up just minutes before my alarm clock sounded. It’s was almost magical. I woke up, turned it off before it had the chance to ring, then got dressed. I made my tea with ginger and got ready for work. I was a little early but that was a good thing. There was almost no traffic, which is weird for a Friday, but I can’t complain. Once I came to work everyone greeted me with warm smiles. You could tell on their faces that they were happy the weekend was here.
Work was rather fast pace. I was surprised it was going that smoothly. I was off and out the door in time. The sun was hitting in a way that made everything look beautiful. Spring. The car ride home was warm and full of music from my favorite playlist. I got home and my mom had made a nice dish which still makes my mouth water at the thought. I read a little before taking a quick shower. Got settled in bed and fell asleep.
Of course, all this sounds way too good to be true. That’s because it is. None of these things actually happened. But I wish it were like that. I think we all wish it was like that. We all wish to wake up and have a good day, or maybe hope it will be good.
What actually happened? Yes I woke up, obviously, but not before my alarm clock. It rang and my ears almost bled. I laid there wanting to go back to sleep but also knowing that I had an obligation. An obligation I wish I didn’t have. After loosing all that time I had almost no time to get ready. Got in my car and had only about less than fifteens to get to work. I made it. One minute late, which will cost me .25 of a point. Great. No one said hi, or seemed to notice my presence.
After I settled into work, it was hectic. Not over the top crazy, but enough to not want to be there. Someone at work asked if I was tired, I asked them why? They answered, “your face looks tired.” Well thanks, that’s really motivating. Went home thirty minutes after i was supposed to and showered. It was nice to see my mom. After the shower I went for a run, don’t know how long but my muscles are sore so must have been a while. Now I shall sleep, I agreed to work at four AM because who needs a social life right?