4 Dates, 4 Guys, In 4 Days

So, I don’t know how to start this.

I said I was going to delete the dating apps on my phone, and to my defense, I did, just not all of them. I left two of them. Maybe I should have stuck to just keeping one but I said to myself, it wouldn’t hurt to just leave these two. 

I got to talk to a lot of people. Some nice, some rude, and others who bluntly just wanted sex. It was pretty interesting to see the type of vibe that online dating has. It was hard to decipher who wanted to get to know you and who wanted just to get in bed with you.

I got four dates, with four guys, on four different days. And this is how they all went;

 

Tuesday

I started talking to this guy on Monday and he seemed pretty cool. I liked the way we clicked. Talked for a bit longer and he asked when we would be able to meet each other. This was Tuesday, so I told him that we should go see a movie. He agreed and we met up at my favorite theater.

I feel like the date went pretty well. I was myself, I didn’t feel as though I had to hide anything of myself or my imperfections just to get him to like me. I was feeling no nerves what so ever, which is really not like me.

I enjoyed the movie and we talked a bit after at Starbucks. Over all the date was pretty good. He is a really cool guy and hes really nice.

The thing is I’m just not into him in that way. Maybe as a friend sure but I just didn’t feel a connection with him, a romantic connection I mean, because I still did very much like him as a person. We are still talking but I think it just wont go anywhere.

 

Wednesday

This date was a little more on the wild side. I got messaged Wednesday morning. We got to talking and this guy seemed really professional. Very classy. I liked that. There is something about when you get treated with kindness and respect that really gets to me.

All day we were back in forth talking and getting to know each other. I was in my bed that night when he asked if I wanted to go on a mini date with him. I was very honest (like I’m trying to be more of) and I told him that we just started talking and that it was late (8PM) to go on a random last minute date with a total stranger.

He told me to be spontaneous. After having a fifteen minute meeting with my advisers (Me, Myself, and I), I decided that I’d take the chance the he was a killer and go on this late last minute night date with this total stranger.

It turned out to be very romantic. We went to this nice lit up lake a few towns over. There were people still out and we sat on a bench and talked about our past and what we wanted in the future. It was very movie like, it almost seemed fake. I really liked him at the end of the night.

The next day he texted me saying if I wanted to do something. I told him yeah it would be cool and we should meet up at a place. He suggested I come over and wait at his house while he got ready. When I got to his house he opened the door in nothing but his towel.

Now, to a easy sleazy person this would have been some crazy sex fantasy, but I’m not here for that. I walked in and I sat on the sofa. He looked at me like I was crazy. I told him I’d wait for him to get ready. To this he said ‘ok’ but I was invited to join in. Where was the guy I had just met the night before who was totally different?

This was the point where I was over him. I thought he was this cool romantic guy, we had talked about so many things, and now he wanted to have sex? Sorry dude, that’s not how I roll.

I think that’s the last time I’ll see him.

 

Thursday

I had been talking to this guy since Monday. He seemed really cool and he was super up front. When we started talked he told me he was a player. I told him that I wasn’t looking for sex. I wanted to date and get to know people. He told me he respected that. Then asked if he could get to know me.

After talking, I really liked him. So much that we went onto heavy flirting. Heavy dirty flirting. I haven’t flirted like this in a while and it was pretty nice. I was into him, in a sexual way. I even told him, you know what lets just get together and have some fun.

What he told me was surprising to me. He told me he wasn’t going to do that to me. He said that I look like a good guy and deserve better than one night stands. I was SHOOK. Instead we met up and had a good two hour convo.

He was super nice and talkative and I can tell he was really into me. I really like his personality and the way he carries himself. I like the way he looks at life and the way he thinks of others and himself. The only thing that I didn’t like was that he really likes to party and drink, that would be the only downside to him.

 

Friday

This date is by far the one I was most excited for. I actually wrote about this guy before. I met him last year when I got super drunk and made out with him at a club. After that we talked but never got the chance to hang out because he was super busy, and then I went all “religion is my life” on everyone and deleted so many people off social media and he was one of them.

But that all changed Wednesday. I saw him on the app and swiped. A little later I matched with him. I had no way of contacting him before, but now here he was. We started talking catching up and telling each other what we had been up to. I apologized again for attacking his face at the club with my mouth.

He told me right away that we should go on a date. I told him of course. I was excited to see him. To get to know him. We went to a movie date as well. There at the movie I asked him about our crazy club night.

This is where the story gets crazy. He said he had seen me before at a gym I used to go to a long time ago. I told him that I thought I had seem him before. He saw me that night and he never thought that I was gay, he said I was dancing like a maniac and living life (which I was) and that he was a little typsy too so he went to ask me if I was the guy from the gym and I guess I said yes, we started dancing, and that is how that story started.

Now, back to Friday. After the movie we went to Del Taco. I know very classy. There we talked, and it was so liberating. I told him about my mom, I told him about the religion I used to be in and all the reasons why I had to basically cut him out of my life last year.

In the end it was a really nice date, and out of all of them I liked him the most. I think there could actually be something there. I really can’t wait for our next date.

 

Now

Ok, so now I have all these decisions to make. Who passes to the next round? I feel like the bachelor. Who is getting a rose and who is not? I have been talking to other guys here and there but nothing really has flourished between us like the rest of these guys.

I have to weigh my options and see who I like the most. I’m dating right now. I haven’t ever dated this way before. Actually going out on dates and talking to people and getting to know them? Its fascinating to me.

Let’s see what happens.

Small World

Yesterday I talked to my shaman.

Well technically speaking it was one of my friends. I hadn’t seen her in for ever (two months). And she just came back from being out of the country. No one thought she was going to come back do to the fact she fell in love with a guy who was a family friend. But eventually she did, and I’m super glad she did.

We went to go eat sushi because I love sushi and because why now? I really did miss her. She’s really cool and so awkward at the same time but I love her.

We catcher up and then I told her how I was feeling down the other day. How conflicted I was with everything going on in my life (it’ll probably be a post in the future), and she listened to me. It was nice. I like her points of view.

I know sometimes I put others happiness in front of mine but that’s ok because I feel like if they are happy I am too. But at the same time there’s that little feeling inside of me that I could be doing something else that would actually make me happier.

After talking we went to the park to walk around (or walk off the sushi I would say). It was a nice windy calm evening. I missed evenings like that, it’s been so hot lately and I’m sick of it.

Anyways, it was fun talking to her and my spirit really did go up from down where it had been. She always knows how to cheer me up, I’m glad she’s in my life. Apparently she knows a a girl who knows me who I met through a guy on Grindr. I know complicated shit but it’s a small world. A very small world.

I Miss You Already

Love.

It never seems to happen at the right time for me. If it seems like there is something good going my way then bam¸ life wants to pry it out of my hands. And it happens every single dam time.

I met a guy yesterday. Yes, on an app, (shut your mouth and don’t you dare judge me). When he started talking to me it seemed that he wasn’t that into me. Then the conversation progressed ever so smoothly. Like we had known each other for a long time. We talked and and talked for hours without ever running out of things to say.

He asked me what I was looking for. I said maybe a friend or a relationship. I described to him what I felt and what I wanted. He really liked what I had to say. The only catch this time is that he is moving 6 hours away because of his job. New promotion.

Just my luck, when I find a cute guy that actually likes me back and is into me, he has to go and move away. The issues is that we really liked each other. So, I kindly accepted his jokingly invitation to go over, yolo right?

He really didn’t want me to go because he knew we would catch feelings for each other. And it turned out that we did, or at least I know I did. I went to his house and we talked for maybe an hour or so outside. We then went inside where we continued our coversation.

Again, talking to him was so easy, everything just came out of my mouth, my complete trust was his. We didn’t talk anything serious, just regular midnight talk. We even talked about the stars and what not, I know, very romantic. I felt like it was a fairytale, I was delighted.

Then we went to his room and just watched Netflix. Suddenly we are holding each other. I was glued to his body and he was to mine. The smell of his body made me float to cloud nine and I felt like I was untouchable. I felt like right there at that moment, I was finally living my dream. Like all the wars and battles I had to go through in my life were all worth it because they had all led me to that moment.

It was too good to be true and then I remembered he was leaving soon. I told him, “this seems like a movie. No, like a book. What would we call it?” He came up with really good names to name our future book. But then I said I Miss You Already. We settle on it without a second thought because it was such a heart breaking tittle.

Its sad but it is what is happening. I am falling for him, I know he is leaving, but yet I want more of him. My arms still smell like him. I can’t get his face out of my head, his lips and even the feeling of him holding me in his arms. The way he laughs and jokes around are all ingraved in my memory. Even his cute little cat, Jasper.

This definitely feels like one of those summer books I used to read about when I was younger. Boy meets boy, they fall in love and then one has to leave, then slam, broken hearts. But those always end with a happy heart warming ending right?

Will ours?