How Long Will This Last?

Yesterday I thought I would leave this world and this time I’m not joking.

I had a fever of 103(c) degrees, I had lower back pain, and by then end of the day my fingers started feeling numb and I could’t feel what I was touching.

It was unbearable! We almost ended up going to the ER but he stopped by the store on his way to work and got me some pills that worked marvelously. They did take a while to hit but my body soon went to normal again. Today I woke up without a fever and feeling like myself again. What happened? I don’t know but I feel like it was voodoo.

Anyways, yesterday during my almost death bed, I got a call from and Elder from my ex-church. I didn’t answer because the call came in as unknown. When I heard the voicmail I know who it was before they introduced themselves. They told me to call back because they wanted to talk. Of course I wont be calling back.

I know why they are calling now. They want to tell me that I will no longer be a Jehovah Witness. Or, they will ask if I want to repent and say that everything that I have done is a mistake, I regret it, and I will go back and work hard to be the model good christian that they want me to be. But, that’s not going to happen either.

What’s funny is that another person from that church contacted me as well today through text. He used to be a close friend. I didn’t text him back either. What I find funny is that the person who called me yesterday probably told the person who texted me today that I didn’t call back. They’re all connected.

It’s annoying that they are just trying to contact me. I have already started a new life somewhere else, with new people, and I don’t want to hear from them. On the other side it makes me kind of sad because a whole bunch of old feelings and memories come back in a blink of an eye.

Will there be more of them trying to get a hold of me? How long will this last?

Jehovah Witnesses Are Harassing Me

I thought it was over. But of course why would it be? Cults will not leave anyone to rest in peace once they leave their “flock”.

I haven’t been to or seen anyone from church in about more than six months now. I have not gone door to door soliciting people to come and “join” the religion for longer than that. So, tell me why I get called by one of the higher ups in the church and get told if I have my “numbers”.

I then get another text from another one a few days later and he says that he wants the “progress report” for the past months from my family and mine. This is basically a paper a Jehovah Witness has to fill out each month on how many hours they spent knocking on doors, how many people they spoke to, and how many pamphlets they gave. I know it sounds crazy, what’s crazy is how they act like I haven’t been going for months and have the audacity and ask me for them out of the blue like I just took a little mini vacation and I’m on the way back.

After I was flooded with text messages and I didn’t respond, I was then harassed with phone calls. One after another, I had to block them them. I had enough, I don’t need them in my life anyways. Plus, there is no reason in me going back and forth with them telling them that I’m not going to go back because all they’ll try to do is “fix me”, as if I was broken, no I’m not, I just actually found out the Truth this time. When you don’t agree with their believes they classify you as “sick” or even “under Satan’s control”.

Days later I got a text from another person from church saying he wanted to hang out with me and some other “brothers” and asked when I was available. Instant block. Do they not get a hint?

I know I could just tell them, write a letter and officially leave them as an organization. (Yes organization, its not a religion, inside they even call it organization, I remember while being in there I would all the time). In doing so, I would lose my mother. Even though we live together I know she’d stop talking to me, she would only direct her word for anything that was absolutely¬†necessary. That’s so fucked up and its the way that they have made her think it “pleases God” or its what he wants. I doubt God wants a mother to shun her own son.

Today I got a text from my ex’s mom. OUT OF ANYONE she had to text me. She said that I was making a mistake and that I was hurting everyone with my actions. What the actual fuck!? What type of mind manipulative guilt are you trying to play here? I’m not here for it. Am I doing anything illegal? Am I off physically hurting people with my actions? NO, they are hurting themselves because they have decided to think what they have been told to think with out actually researching it and finding out for themselves. I have nothing to do with it.

I’m so tired of them hitting me up all randomly when I’m finally living a good life. The cult has them really wound up into making them believe exactly what they want. My own mother doesn’t even bother me with this shit. She has accepted I’m not going back, why are they trying to ruin that?

They need to move on, just like I have. I already made my decision, and I’m fucking happy as hell with it.

I Hope You Find Your Peace

Last week a coworker was making a joke that if I was to be looked for I would surely be found in the “ladies room.”

At first this did not phase me. I did not care. But then something happened. I usually leave a note of when I leave my desk, so it is easier for people to locate me. It usually reads “If you are looking for Me he is in X location.” I came back from my break and found it saying “if you are looking for Me she is in the ladies room.”

I’ve been bullied my whole life and never found a way to stand up for myself. One of my coworkers saw it and took it straight to my supervisor. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, scared that people would see this and then question my sexuality.

Today Human Resources called two of my coworkers to make a statement. Then he was called also to the office where he admitted to writing those things right before being terminated.

I don’t wish him bad. I actually wish it goes well for him. I wish him good luck. I just hope he learns from this. I hope that one day when some one is doing the same thing he did to me he is the one that stand up for them. I hope he finds his peace.

I am great full for the people who stood up for me. I hope they get blessed for this. It taught me that there are good people out there and that some of them actually do care.

If you’re out there struggling with someone who is bullying you, and just like I is too scared to speak up, find someone who can help you. Find someone who loves you and will take care of your sometimes we can’t ourselves because of the oppressor. But if we don’t stop them now, when will we?