Today I didn’t want to get up, oh boy didn’t I want to get up! I woke up early as hell. I don’t even know why, just opened my eyes looked at the time and was like dam it. Tried going back to sleep but got stressed I wouldn’t wake up. I still got up and went to work.
On my way to work I almost cried. I was on the verge of tears the whole ride there. I almost drove off the road and crashed just to avoid the fact that I had to go to work. I regretted even getting up in the first place, I wanted to turn back time and just call off.
As soon as I got to work, my mood changed. I have no idea where it went, who took it, or how I came to stumble upon a better mood. But it just happened.
I think it was my I don’t care attitude. I just didn’t care. What ever happened, I didn’t care. getting yelled at? I didn’t care. My boss being her usual annoying self? I didn’t care. It saved me a huge head ache. Not caring about anything really saves you energy.
But it sucks that I still have to work here. I swear I don’t care about it. I’m not even trying anymore. I’m just a body, I’m just a number in that place.
I forgot where I was going with this. Maybe I just wanted to rant. Or maybe I just wanted to let a little bit of frustration out. One of my friends says that I’m not fine. I told him that I am. I’m peachy. I’m wonderful. Aside form work I don’t have any other complaints. I don’t care about work.
Today was the day I was scheduled to go back to work. I had taken off work since September twenty first to take care of my mother who went through reconstruction surgery that same day. I was going to be out two weeks and a half. But seeing as she may need more assistance I asked to return to work a little later, this Monday to be exact.
Some of my coworkers who have my number have been messaging me asking me if I’m ok or if I’ll be returning. I’ve texted them back letting them know I will go back soon. I didn’t want to tell anyone that I was taking a leave of absence because, well as blunt as it sounds, it’s none of their business.
I know that sounds harsh and mean, but I don’t really have a connection to them. Sure they are my coworkers but the bond or relationship I have with them is just merely related to work. There was only about two of them that I actually did tell what was going on. I’m sure I’m the talk of the town, probably asking themselves where I am or if I’m returning, or even what happened to me in the first place. Some might even think I quit. Surprise they will get when they see me walk in Monday.
I do have to say that even though I’ve been up and down with hospital visits, cleaning and cooking, and taking care of my mother, I have enjoyed this time off. Working at home is far different from working at a job. The thought of returning does not amuse me at all.
As a matter of fact, today while buying groceries, I saw a coworker. I asked her how she was and how things at work were going. By the looks of it, they’re not going so well. Things have changed and by the expression on her face and her tone of voice, they haven’t changed for the better.
Just to confirm my doubts I messaged a close coworker and she said that everything I heard was correct, and maybe even worse. If I didn’t want to go back then, imagine how I feel now? It seems like the big boss wants numbers, and he’s going to get them at who’s ever expense.
The company that we are transitioning finally offered me a pay if I were to convert to them. I knew what I was trying. That’s not what I wanted.
I walked into the general managers office about an hour ago. He say me down and explained to me what I was going to be given. I made a few questions as to why I was going to be paid so little.
Now, I’m not usually greedy, but I know my worth. I do so much for current company and I wasn’t getting paid for it. Plus, I want to add that I have been on a new mentality. The mentality that I will no longer be a pushover. I will be confident, I will be strong.
Because I made some questions, he called in the HR. She pulled me into her office and explained why I was going to be paid that amount. I told her no. I didn’t know if I was gonna get a higher offer but I did know I was going to fight for it.
Sooner than later she said ok, and they gave me what I was asking for. I was surprised with myself. I didn’t think they would just go with the flow like that. But I’m glad they did.
So now I sit here, in a clinic waiting to get drug tested, that’s a requirement, then they will send the results over to my HR and by then I’ll have my back ground checked and I will be part of the company in June.
I’m sitting at work currently day dreaming of a better place. I know in my last post I was talking about living on the beach. The thing is that I feel like I need change in my life. I have been doing the same routine for a while and I’m feeling bored.
Its most likely just me. But still, do you wake up every morning ready to go do the same boring shit every day? That’s what I feel I do. I know I shouldn’t be complaining and technically I’m not, I’m just venting, a lot of other people would love to be doing what I do or at least be in the position that I am now.
But, is it wrong to want change? Is It wrong to want to be doing something different? I want to learn new things and go to unfamiliar places. Is it wrong to want to aspire to be more than what I am now?
Most people would most likely say that I should go back to school and get a degree and work hard to get an excellent job and live life like everyone else on this planet. But, dude like did you even read what I just wrote. I don’t want to be boring!
Not that my life is that boring, it’s really not but the day to day, work, and everything in between is just so bland. I need adventure, I need excitement, I need change.
Money moves people. If I ask you to help me cross the street you would probably say, it’s not that hard to cross the fucking street bruh. But if were to give you 5,000 dollars in cash and ask you for help, you would probably stop traffic for me and more. Truth?
My job in logistics is going through a employer change and people are demanding a raise in order to stay. Some people have already left, some have already been hired.
I will be one of the last ones to be hired and I’m not salty about that. It’s cool, I get to observe carefully how and what’s going on.
For example, some people got offered a 10 cent raise. And like a little kid offered a simple lollipop they said yes. I ain’t about that life. Maybe it’s the Cardi B in me or my strive to be more but I said hell nah.
I saw the general manager, a chance, an opportunity and I took it. I talked to him. Told him I do way to much to be offered just some piece of shit offer. I saw he was surprised buy my boldness. And trust me, I’m not a stand-up-for-yourself kind of person.
But for once I did what I had to do and I got my dolla.