What If

Have you ever just been chilling at home, and then suddenly your mind wonders off to a far away distant dimension that’s parallel to the life that you’re living now but only with small differences?

Wow, ok let me simplify that just a bit.

So, you ever wonder how different your life would have been if you did just one thing different? If that one decision you had, the no you said turned into a yes, or the job you didn’t take you took? Where would you be now? What if you had stayed with your first girlfriend/boyfriend? What if you hadn’t moved to that new city you feared so much? Or what if you did take the chance and had moved away from home?

I’m constantly thinking about that stuff. I don’t know if it’s healthy or not, but I’m always living in the what if of life.

What if I just quit my job? What if I just run away? Start a new life? Leave everyone behind? Change my phone number, move somewhere else? Ok, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but you get the picture.

There are a lot of what ifs that I have floating in my head that could have potentially have changed my life drastically in the past. Maybe even now they still could. But that’s the thing with what ifs, that’s all they are. Thoughts, dreams, a picture that slowly fade away with time until you forget about them.

But, what if you never do?


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Job Hunt Day 2

Day 2 of job hunting (don’t worry, I’m not going to make this a daily thing I don’t want to bore you to death).

 

I didn’t go to work today, I felt that it was a good decision for my mental health. I made plans already for tomorrow. I’m going to go see some puppies and have breakfast with one of my friends. But today, I came to Starbucks (my safe place) to edit. I have been here for maybe more than six hours. Not sure if they’ll kick me out but I hope they don’t.

 

I went on Craigslist to search for some local jobs. That place is freaking scary. Some how I feel like almost all those postings are all fake and are people trying to get your info. They don’t seem legit to me. Does anyone ever get a job from there? Is that site even a thing anymore? I remember growing up and always hearing about Craigslist and how people always found a job on there. Does that even happen anymore? If there’s a new site where the jobs are at, tell me! PLEASE.

 

Still waiting for my Doordash and Postmate kits to come in the mail so I can start collecting that extra money. I don’t know what else I can do in the mean time. I don’t have many bills which is good, but at the same time I need money to survive. Just going to have to keep looking.

 

For now I’m going to go eat with a friend. He goes into work a little later and since I’m not working he said he can pass by and we can eat something and chat. Should be nice. We’re trying to plan a mini two day vacation, because I really need one. So might do that.


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Job Hunt Day 1

To get a good job in today’s job market this is what you’ll need; a good resume, 25 years of experience, 73 degrees, a letter signed by the queen of England, and three strands of hair picked right from a witches mole.

If you think I’m exaggerating, I’m not. Yesterday I was looking at some postings and it seems that employers expect you to know what you will be doing on the job before you even have it. What’s up with that? I get it, it’s your company and you want the best, but no one is perfect.

Yesterday was day one of searching for a job. I’m looking at nearly anything. Jobs that are way above me, jobs that are right up my ally, and jobs that are very questionable.

I even joked to some friends that I’d be down to sell pictures of my feet, if it came down to that. I know a lot of people like that fetish type of stuff. I went a little further in saying I’d sell my used socks as well. I literally can’t find the line because I always cross it. Of course I’m not going to do that for reals… for now.

One of my friends suggested that I be a stripper. And although I’ve thought about it maybe once or nine times before. I don’t really have the body for it. Don’t get me wrong , I could get the body if I wanted to. But the face would still be the same. Ugly. But that can be covered by a mask. Masked stripper? Maybe that could be a thing? Spiral me to super stardom? Who knows. In the mean time I have to get in shape. So technically I still need a job.

Another friend suggested Doordash. Not my first option. But it’s an option nonetheless, and at least this way I won’t have to be buying socks every week. I signed up and got approved. Also signed up for Postmates. I’m desperate to leave my current job. Can’t you tell?

The thing that I don’t wnat to do is let my emotions get in the way of my thinking and quit without having a Plan B. So this is basically me “being smart”. But no doubt I will be on the search for a job that suits my needs. In the meantime I’ll be trying to keep my sanity and my composure at work. Even though I might lose one of those pretty soon.


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I’ll Do Anything For Money

I feel like I’ve complained enough on here about how much I hate my job. So what’s next?

I was on my way to work today and told my self that’s it, I NEED to look for another job. I know, for any other sane person with a good leveled head, they might have already thought of that idea. Well, guess what? I did too. I tried in the beginning of the year but had no luck.

Maybe I didn’t try hard enough. Or maybe I did and the job market was pretty slow and low. I don’t know, what I do know is that I’m still freaking working at the same place.

Is it that hard to find a job? It might be. I have a friend who used to work at Kmart, they shut down back in December, and he has been looking for a job ever since. Sure he’s picky as heck but still, it’s almost five months, he should have found soemthing.

I don’t think I have a lot of skills or experience. I’m being brutally honest with myself here. But, I do feel I am useful for something, you know what I mean? I’ll do anything for money. Literally, that’s how much I want to leave my job.

No, but jokes aside, I really need to get my crap together and actually work on my resume and my interview answers, to make it seem that I am normal and worthy of working in a social environment with other humans.

I’d really like to be someone’s assistant. I know for some that’s a little humiliating. But for me I’d be down. Well, as long as my boss is not a total A. But beggars can’t be choosers right?

What I was thinking though. I might take the summer off. Quit my job in early summer and look for a job but also enjoy the summer. Maybe my YouTube channel will take off and I’ll be famous? I’m such a millennial, ugh I hate it.

It’s time to take action. It’s time to move. And it’s time to go places.


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We Put In Work

I know I talked crap about my boss yesterday, and today I have a little more dirt to throw her way, but it’s all because she set me up for failure.

 

As you know (or will now) I cover her meetings when she isn’t there. Today she called me in the morning saying how the 10 o’clock meeting had been canceled. I said ok great, I didn’t really want to go anyways. I never do. I asked one of the other managers just to verify. He said that there was in fact still a meeting.

 

Whats going on? Why is she setting me up for failure? The managers will be wondering why I didn’t go to the meeting when they saw me out on the floor. Now, I wonder. Was this her plan? To come back on Monday and be asked why I didn’t go and her to throw me under he bus like that? Hmmm well it didn’t work.

 

I still ended up going to the meeting and it was almost 2 hours. It wasn’t as bad as it was I thought it was going to be. Just at the end when everyone was leaving I got put on blast by the big boss (general manager) saying how when my boss isn’t there that we basically don’t do anything. Um ok sure, if that’s what people tell you that’s fine. First check your facts bruh. We put in work, well, sometimes.

 

Let me tell you, two of my coworkers love to talk. When I say love to talk I mean LOVE to talk. Any one they see they will stop and talk to. I honestly think they would even stop and talk to a wall if they had an option. That slows us down so much. And gets who gets to hear it  when the boss comes back. ME.

 

So I told one of them that they needed to basically get with it and actually work. I was frustrated and tired so I know for a fact I might have said it in a negative way. No, I know for a fact that I did, and my intention was to hurt, so I should apologize to be honest but we’ll see where that boat floats to.

 

This is where I understand my boss. She doesn’t want to get scolded from her boss so she pushed us to try to be our best. Sure, she really doesn’t have any people skills but still she’s trying her best, you know?

 

I feel the same way right now. I don’t want to go in on Monday and be yelled at because we didn’t do anything today. It’s a pyramid. An awful one. That’s just how it is though. I’m glad it’s the weekend. I can’t wait to sit around and do nothing 🙂 .

 


 

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