I Don’t Care

Today I didn’t want to get up, oh boy didn’t I want to get up! I woke up early as hell. I don’t even know why, just opened my eyes looked at the time and was like dam it. Tried going back to sleep but got stressed I wouldn’t wake up. I still got up and went to work.

On my way to work I almost cried. I was on the verge of tears the whole ride there. I almost drove off the road and crashed just to avoid the fact that I had to go to work. I regretted even getting up in the first place, I wanted to turn back time and just call off.

As soon as I got to work, my mood changed. I have no idea where it went, who took it, or how I came to stumble upon a better mood. But it just happened.

I think it was my I don’t care attitude. I just didn’t care. What ever happened, I didn’t care. getting yelled at? I didn’t care. My boss being her usual annoying self? I didn’t care. It saved me a huge head ache. Not caring about anything really saves you energy.

But it sucks that I still have to work here. I swear I don’t care about it. I’m not even trying anymore. I’m just a body, I’m just a number in that place.

I forgot where I was going with this. Maybe I just wanted to rant. Or maybe I just wanted to let a little bit of frustration out. One of my friends says that I’m not fine. I told him that I am. I’m peachy. I’m wonderful. Aside form work I don’t have any other complaints. I don’t care about work.

It is what it is. I just don’t care.

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I Quit

I quit my job.

Well, one of my jobs to be more exact. It was liberating. I felt free. Unstoppable.

Ok, maybe I didn’t feel that great but I did feel some sort of relief. I didn’t call. I didn’t show up. In a way it felt like skipping school. At times, I thought to myself, at this part of the day I would be doing this certain thing at work.

When my mother woke up and saw me laid in bed she asked me if my alarms had not gone off. Or if I just hadn’t felt well enough to go to work. I told her no, I quit.

You should have seen her face. I’ve never seen someone so happy to hear those words, I quit. She smiled a warm smile placed her hand on my knee. She even told me that with God everything is possible and not to worry about bills.

I know I don’t like my moms religious side. But that comment. Those words, just got to me. I felt good. I felt great about quitting. Who said quitters never win? I had won.

I did call my former employer (feels good to say that). I told them I would no longer be coming in. The manager told me matter-of-factly, “oh, we figured that.”

That was sort of rude. I guess it showed how much I hated being there. There are something’s that are just to hard to fake.

Will I miss any coworkers there? Probably not. I didn’t get too close to anyone. I tried not to. Why get attached when your going to leave them in the past? I know I’ll be the hot topic for a while though. I know I would have been talking smack if someone quit all of a sudden as I did.

So here’s to a new journey. Less stress. And less micromanagement.