My Face Reflects Calmness And Peace

It is oficial. My mother’s reconstruction Breast surgery will be the 21st of this month. As happy I am for her I am also really scared.

We met with the surgeons and anesthesiologist who will be in the operating room the day of the surgery. They explained everything that they will be doing, the risks, and the benefits of the surgery.

Basically they will be taking part of the stomach tissue along with a vein or artery and be placing it where her breast was once at. To do so they have to remove a rib to get an artery connection.

This surgery will take about ten hours. If all goes well she will be in the hospital under intensive care for three to five days. Then she will be released and be in bed rest for about a month.

Some of the risks include; the artistes getting clogged up, a hernia, and losing too much blood causing death.

But we are optimistic. Well at least my mom is. I’m staying to say string for her but at the same time I’m screaming on the inside. I’m crying and throwing things around. My mind is one of the worst hurricanes in human history. But my face reflects calmes and peace.

She is strong. I am strong. I have never met anyone in my life as strong as my mother. Her faith moves me. Her strength makes me continue. Her live fuels me. She is one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. I hope to never forget that.

Moving This Mountain 

          Yesterday I took my mom to the doctor. It was time for her staples to come out. It was a little of a wait but when we finally got in they took the staples out. My mom said it didn’t hurt like she thought it was going to. When they were off she said she felt better. But then she looked down. I feel like my heart had just shattered into a million pieces then was set on fire. Looking at her face, seeing how hurt she was. Looking down and seeing what she saw. The scar that was now forming. 

          I put my hand on her shoulder and told her she was strong. Not because she’s my mom, but she is one of the strongest women I know. She felt a little better. I try my best to comfort her as best as I can. I know I can’t make that hurt that she feels go away but I can help her though it. She seems at peace with what happened but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t emotionally hurt still. It changes everything. 

          Like yesterday before we went she wanted to wear a scarf. I asked her why? She told me that she just felt like it. But I knew she just didn’t feel comfortable going out like that. That gave me such a pain in my chest. Knowing she feels that way. That people will look. Jerks. They don’t even know what we have gone through, but it’s the sad truth, they judge. So I let her wear it, and I told her she looked beautiful. 

          We are still trying to move this mountain. It’s hard but here we are. One day at a time. It gives me much joy seeing how she’s returning to herself. Getting up and waking around. Even yelling at my brother and me to make our beds and clean up. I missed her. I missed that part of her. The part that made her my mom. No matter what happened, she’s still my mom. She will always be, and I will always love her, And it makes me happy that with each day that passes by she gets better. Physically and emotional. 

And it will be moved