Old Wounds

Friendships are one of the hardest things to explain.

If someone asked you, how do you define friendship? What would you say? Depending on your age there would be a variety of answers. Some definitions would be very common. Sometimes friendship, or your definition of friendship might depend on the person whom you are friends with.

The only way I can describe friendship is, hard. For me it’s not an easy thing. It’s not something I can do naturally without thinking. Sure, I am nice to everyone and of course I am always there for my friends. But, sometimes its just not about you. It’s about everyone else, or in this case your friend.

Forgiveness is a big part of friendship. It is something that can either make or break your friendship. Everyone, and I do mean everyone will make mistakes in their life, including you and your friends. Sometimes those mistakes can ruin everything, but only if you let them.

I have a friend I almost lost. I asked him to be there for me when I was at my worst. I didn’t see that he himself also needed help. He was stressed and over whelmed and I was over here trying to add more weight to his shoulders? I don’t blame him for not being able to find the correct words to say to me in my time of need. He himself did not know how to manage his own demons.

Do I forgive him? I do now. At first, I wondered how could someone forgive another person after letting them know what they were feeling and that person not help? But did I really tell him how I felt? No. I never said anything. So, who really is in the wrong?

But time really does heal old wounds. This year has taught me many things about friendship. It’s one of the most best feelings in the world as well as the worst pain someone can have. There’s love and hate, but though and through love prevails.

I asked myself, am I really going to let my friendship end all because I can’t forgive and let go? Am I really going to hold a grudge all my life for something so little? Be this petty?

Friendship to me is forgiveness.

Let Go

I’m letting you go,

I’m setting you free

All this time all I wanted,

Was for you to be next to me

Never said goodbye

You always had to stray

So then you left

Because you never learned how to stay

Now you act like nothing

The burden is left on me

Like nothing has happened

Can you even see?

I miss you forever

Nevertheless let’s leave it alone

Although it’s better together

Let’s move on and just go

Watch Me

I got the job! Well let me explain. Should have written this before buuuuut. Anyway I had an interview at a answering phone service and they really liked me, like really liked me. I think I was possessed by a charming charismatic ghost because I blew them away.

I think it’s a new me. It’s time for a new me. Hey if Taylor Swift can reinvent herself and come back like the bad ass that she is why cant I? I think that’s my new gaol.

Be more outspoken, more spontaneous, louder, be less timid. I am an incredible person inside and I feel like the world should see that. Although, yes, it will take time to develop the skills and all but I know I can accomplish it. Watch me.


In other news. My typing is getting better. Also one more week to Sequoia and I’m freaking the fuck out! I know I say how much I want to go and it’s getting repetitive and all and it’s all true like I can’t stop thinking about it. I wish that I could stay longer there and see more because one day won’t be enough but I will make the most of it.

Earlier today, my uncle and aunt came to visit from out of town. They are from my dads side of the family but they still really care about my mom, and us. They came to see how she was doing with the whole cancer thing. And she’s actually doing great. They just left a while ago. They took us out to eat and it was delicious. Sizzler.

Any who I feel like I haven’t been on here for years and I hate that. What’s going to happen when I start my second job? Well, I make time for it for sure, because I love writing. Wow this post is all over the place it doesn’t even make sense. K bye.