This Is My Country Too

I was not born in America. But I was raised American. I am not a citizen of America. But I know more about this country then those who are telling me to go back to ‘mine’. I am from another country, yet I do not know anything about the country that I came from. I know of it, but not the way I know American history.

I have been in this country since I was 2 years old. Was I asked to be brought here? No. Did I have a choice to be here? No. It is not my fault that I am here. Should I pay for that now in my adult life?

I grew up thinking I was the same as everyone else. I grew up thinking I was going to go college and then get a good job and live the american dream, because I myself thought I was American.

Now I see the news and I read the comments and see how people of this country that I grew up loving but not being able to be part of want me to return to a country I have not even known since I was a toddler. I don’t even remember it. This is my home, this is where I grew up, this is where I have all my friends and family. This is my country too.

I wish I could ask them what they think I would be able to do in a country I don’t know anything of. I would like to ask them that if the circumstances were the same with their parents, would they say the same thing?

I’m not saying that what my parents did in bringing me here was a good idea, nor am I saying it was the right thing to do. Obviously it wasn’t the correct way to do it. I know that, I understand that. But why do I have to pay for it? I am a good person, I have not hurt anyone, I’m going to school, I take care of my mother and brother. I obey the laws.

Sure if I was out in the streets running a muck and hurting people, well yeah, go ahead, throw me out, who wants trash in their home?

But is it really only immigrants that are running the streets?

Dreamers are called dreamers because they are dreaming of the day they can be legal and go to school, better their lives, and give this country what this country has given them.

Of course there are people out there that make mistakes, and they should be held accountable by their actions. But, what have I done?

I wanted to talk about this because today in the Supreme court they will discussing DACA. This has helped many children and young adults like me who were brought when they were young to the United States to gain the ability to work and go to school.

I don’t understand why people are freaked out about this. It is not giving just “anyone” status. No, its giving it to that person who you went to school with. That person who tried their best in school fearing that one day they were going to lose their family.

We are not criminals, we are just like you and your children, do we not deserve a good life too?

45 And Counting

Seeing as I am now 45 days close to not having a job, searching for a new one has become a top priority. I am not looking forward to being unemployed and collecting unemployment. Sure I hate my job, that doesn’t mean I want to stay home and work the government. Some of my coworkers are thrilled to do so and can’t wait. That annoys the heck out of me.

I received a call last week for an interview, I went and it actually turned out to go very well. It was for a delivery driving position. Something I have not yet jumped into. The manager who interview me asked if I wanted to tag along with one of the drivers and see if it was a good option for me.

I thought it was a great opportunity. What other job asks you to come in and just basically watch what they do and see if you like it? Not many. The job seemed fairly well, as the manager described it. But this way I would be seeing it and hearing it form the horses mouth.

Today was the day of the ‘ride along’ as he called it. The driver that I shadowed was very friendly but at the same time very straight forward. This is what I needed. I didn’t need someone to sell me the job again and tell me lies. I also didn’t need someone to bash on their own job and make it seem like it was a hell hole. He explained the cons and the pros and paved the way for me to decide what I would do.

The job itself is not bad. It’s honest, and technically, I would be making the same amount of money that I make now. The downfall? I would be driving a lot more. I would be getting up a lot earlier and I would be getting home a lot later as well. For someone who loves to drive, this is hard for me because driving a car is not the same as driving a 20 foot truck, in the middle of the summer , to one of the hottest valleys in the desert. Like I said, I love driving, I believe that this job would make me start to hate it.

Am I upset? No. I know there will be jobs that appear to be great. I may not like them. That’s why I have all this time to decide which job I choose. I want to be 100% sure I want the job I will get. For some reason that feeling wasn’t there for this job.

I have faith though. I will get a nice job that I like. I’m not looking for the pay as much as I’m looking for the environment and feel of it. I want to be happy. That’s my goal for the rest of the year. Doing me, getting happy.

Look For A Job While You Have A Job

The rumors are true. As you may or may not (or now will now) know. I was off for two days. And during those days I missed so much information.

One, the company I work for is broke. You can buy a stock for just about 20 american dollars. Second, everyone is quitting and getting another job.

Ok, lets take this one step at a time. So how is my work broke? I don’t have the least amount of clue. Last year the company itself with all its subsidiaries was worth 17 billion dollars. But some how, the stocks have dropped almost 30% a month in the past three months. I was unaware of this. And by the looks of it so were all my other coworkers. I don’t know why no one saw it coming since they were being really stingy with money and laying people off, but that’s none of my business.

My work had a “town hall” meeting where the General Manager proceeded to advice everyone that is it better to “look for a job, while you have a job.” I got a text from a coworker last week about this lovely quote that was said to them and since it was out of context I thought he was threatening everyone jobs.

Now going back to work and getting all the sides from the story I can see why he said it. He’s even worried that our site will be shut down. And if you want my honest opinion, it probably should. There are more than 20 claims that come in a week from customers that are missing product or don’t actually get what they asked for. Not to mention the management sucks in every way, shape, and form.

Second thing, almost no one was at work today. I’v never seen my job so empty. I’m thinking that most people called off to go job hunt after being told that the place that they work at might be shutting down soon. I’m glad I have been looking for a new job. But at the same time, nothing is coming in, yet. 

Regardless of this place closing or not, I want to leave. If I am still there when it does, I don’t even care, but I don’t want to let that happen.

So excuse me while I continue to devour the internet in search of a better place to work.


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Ten Years

Yesterday we went to the oncologist and finally got the results on my mom's breast cancer tissue and what type of cancer it was. I think it was something like invasive carcinoma. She wrote it down on our paper because it was a tricky word. But she said if there was cancer that if you had to have a cancer this one was the one to have. Doctors and their doctors sense of humor.

Basically it's three hormones to feed the cancer cell. So estrogen, progesterone, and HER 2 negative. That's what this type of cancer feeds off. And my mom had the combination of the three. Well don't quote me on this, she has estrogen and progesterone, but she was negative on HER 2 which is a protein or something that controls how healthy breast cells grow, so obviously with out it it's perfect for cancer to grow.

Now that we knew what happened we could find a solution. The doctor said she didn't need to have chemo, which was great news. We didn't want to go through all that pain since it was already hard enough. So she said instead she would just have to take a pill… for ten years.

At first I laughed because I thought she had miss placed her words or she was joking like doctors do, but no, she was serious. It's called Tamoxifen. It's an anti-estrogen hormone. So she said that that will stop them from coming together and forming any other cancer cells on the other breast.

I was looking into the drug and it seems pretty good. The doctor said there's almost a 100% survival rate after five years which is really really great news. The thing is it's a good $100 to get per month. We haven't gone to get it at the pharmacy yet, we will today, I'm hoping that our insurance covers it.


Update, it did. At least for about five months. It has some side effects though. Not that all bad but we just have to keep an eye on her. I'm glad we're getting though this. It has been the toughest year yet for us but some how we managed to get through it. Really makes me smile and feel good to see how strong my family is.