Runaway

I feel like my blog has turned into some type of teen coming of age sort of blog. For some this would be no problem. The thing is I’m twenty-three years old. Should I have my life together? Am I heading in the right direction? What is the right direction?

My friend keeps indirectly saying he wants to run away. At first it started off as a job. I would even say it. Let’s run away and never look back. But I would say all the reasons why I couldn’t or can’t. But now, when he says he wants to run away. There’s a certain seriousness to his voice.

He asked me what I would do if he just disappeared. I was caught off guard. Why would anyone ask a question like that? And I was even more upset at the fact that he’s thinking of doing it alone. Did the thought of me broken hearted and left alone not cross his mind? All the things we’ve been through? The things we said? Do they mean nothing to him?

I wish I could know what’s making him want to run away form it all. Is it college? Maybe it’s too much. His drunk father? But he provides for his family. Or his family in general? How can I help? How can I make it better?

I wonder if this is another one of his games. You see he knows how to push my buttons. And that’s fine I kind of like it once in a while. But this is too far. I want him to stay. I never want him to leave. He’s the closest thing I have, and just thinking of not having him in my life is so depressing.