Yesterday after vigorously working on cutting some annoying weeds that grew in our front yard I decided to compensate myself with a nice little drink from Starbucks. There’s no other better way to pat yourself on the back right?
Blasted my music as loud as I could handle while driving there, scratch that, as loud as it went. I was freaking pumped, got my car windows tinted on Sunday and it had been a long time dream I had since I bought the car three years ago. Now since it’s paid off, and I know I’m gonna keep it, I decided to treat myself with that. And I love it.
I didn’t want to get off my car, because I’m socially awkward, so I went a little out of my way to go to a Starbucks that had a drive through. Funny thing though, if you ever got your windows tinted you know that you’re not supposed to roll down your windows. Well, my little dumb soul forgot SUNDAY NIGHT and YESTERDAY NIGHT at the Starbucks. Like wtf.
Any who, after that unfortunate event, I decide to just park and consume my Starbucks while listening to music. It was actually really relaxing. It was drizzling just a bit which made it perfect. I’m honestly tired of how much it’s been raining though. We live in California, it’s not supposed to rain here. I like the cold not the rain. Would like to live somewhere where it’s hella sunny but at the same time the wind gives you goosebumps. Is there such a place?
I don’t know where I was going with this post. Maybe it wasn’t meant to go anywhere. It’s just me rambling about nonsense. It’s all good though. The night ended very well. So that’s what counts.
I told my friend that this past weekend while we were on the beach. I was a little hoe at the end of last year only having one night stands here and there. It was fun I I’m not going to sit here and lie, but dating is different.
First of al there’s food involved. You get to eat out and chill. Plus, sometimes you get to try new things. You get to see things and experience them in different ways. Also, getting to know someone for the first time is always great. It’s like reading a new book.
At the end of the day you don’t have to sleep with them if you don’t want to. Sure, it’s always fun and if they want to stick around for a while that’s cool to. I’m just saying having someone to hold or just be held is really comforting for me, and I’m not a handsy person.
Yes, maybe I’m lonely, or sure, maybe I’m just jealous of what I see other people have. But that makes it ok not to want those things? I think not. Then there is the underlying question. What is it that I want in a relationship?
Its pretty simple actually. All I need is attention. I don’t need you to take me to an expensive. I don’t need you to take me to a private island or buy me things. I don’t even need you to shoe off for me. Sure, those things are nice but do I want them or need them? No. All I want is attention.
I want you to call me, text me, ask me how my day is. I want you to invite me over and talk to me. I want to know how your day was, what you want to do in the future. I want to know your opinions, what makes you laugh and cry.
I want to be able to sit in silence with you and not feel awkward. I want to breathe the same air that you breathe and feel like we are one person.
Ok, maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself but I think you get the picture.
Breathe in and out. Feel the sand run through your toes. Feel the rays of the sun jump on your skin and gracefully caress your face. You hear the waves of the ocean splash against the shore. People laughing. Kids playing in the sand. And it’s calm. It’s all calm.
You remember what it’s like being a kid. You remember how you father helped you get up when you first fell off your bike. You remember your mom teaching you how to tie your shoes. You remember how much fun you had in school. How you couldn’t wait to go back. You remember how you never fought with your friends. And when you did, did you remember the next day? No.
You suddenly feel that feeling you felt when you were young on Sunday mornings. Waiting for a bright future. You remember those waffles that only your mom knew how to make. How your dad loved football and always had snacks on Sundays. You remember feeling warm every Christmas Eve. And you couldn’t wait for New Years to come around to finally stay up past your bed time.
The candy’s on halloween and valentines. Your first crush. Your first love. You breathe in and smell that first day of school smell. That first car you bought with your own money.
Everything is calm.
You run your hands through the oceans sands and remember how it felt to always have your blanket. How it protected you from the monsters and the ghouls. How it felt hugging your dad when he came home. How it felt holding your first loves hand. In the winter it was cold, and in the summer you would just high five.
You open your eyes. The ocean is blue and the sky is a piercing orange. The end of another day. Just to be soon the beginning of another. The water waves at you. You wave back, and everything is calm.
Yesterday I went to the beach. It was a small day-cation. I really needed it. And I had the time of my life.
I went to my first color run today, and it was AWESOME!! It was really fun. I had very high hopes for it and they didn’t come up short.
I picked up Gabriel around seven in the morning. And we were on our way to Jarupa Park. I did have a little bit of nerves because I didn’t know what to expect. Sure color of course, but that’s about it.
The park itself was beautiful. It had a little lake and was way bigger than I anticipated. They had and RV parking and people were actually fishing. We registered and walked around for a bit, mostly talked about books that we are reading.
The first color that was thrown at us was green. Not my first choice but it was cool. Later came pink then orange, yellow, and blue. We ran the whole thing (3 miles) in 25 minutes. I wasn’t expecting it to end so soon but I guess we were full of excitement.
My shirt was full of color which looked amazing. My hair had some few drops of color here and there. At the end they had a DJ and we all threw our own colors in the air. I think that was my favorite part.
Over all it was a great experience and I can’t wait to do it again. It really did lift my spirt up and made me feel happy. It’s been a rough couple of months and to just let lose and go a little crazy felt really amazing.