I’m at my local Starbucksagain because I live here now. I did not go to work today so its a good day. *Insert super cheerful hyped up music here*. I am semi worried about how my check is going to be when I see it next week, but I’ll worry about that later. You know, I’d rather be broke and happy, then have money and be stressed.
Today I have a very eventful day. One of my friends dog’s had puppies and I can’t wait to meet them. I was there for her dogs first days, I even have a picture of me with her. And now she’s all grown up and having puppies. Life moves so fast. *Gets emotional over dogs*.
This is me with the beautiful little Bailey from two years ago
I’m also eating breakfast with her (the owner of the do not the dog lol). My diet has come and gone in these recent days. Meaning, that one day I stayed with it and the next I haven’t. But don’t worry! Its not like one day I’ll eat only veggies and the the next day down some fries and three tons of soda. No. I have been doing well and I have made my limits. I have also starting walking which is really relaxing. I like to walk alone, earphones in, music on max, and just forget about everything. Its nice, try it.
Also on today’s agenda. Looking for jobs. Ok that’s enough of that.
At the end of the day, my church is doing this thing for the Death of Jesus (Easter type thing). So I’ll be attending that. One of my friends is having a dinner a little after and he invited me. I don’t know if I’ll go to be honest. I know they’ll have good food and I wont be able to contain myself. I might just go late that way I can go but still keep my diet integrity. Plus I love spending time with him and his family, just don’t know who else they invited. (Because I’m awkward meeting new people).
Tomorrow there is a church picnic as well. I’ll try my best to attend that but probably just arrive at the same time one of my other friends does because I need moral support just to be in public and around people. You guys ever get that? When you’re alone you’re weak but when you’re with your friends you really don’t give a dam? Maybe its just me, who knows. But that’s basically all I have to do. And then for Monday (which I hope never comes around) I’ll have to return to my work. Maybe JUST maybe, if I wish hard enough the building will be consumed by flames before I even have to return, but I know that’s a little stretch in reality. (My fingers are crossed though).
Yesterday after vigorously working on cutting some annoying weeds that grew in our front yard I decided to compensate myself with a nice little drink from Starbucks. There’s no other better way to pat yourself on the back right?
Blasted my music as loud as I could handle while driving there, scratch that, as loud as it went. I was freaking pumped, got my car windows tinted on Sunday and it had been a long time dream I had since I bought the car three years ago. Now since it’s paid off, and I know I’m gonna keep it, I decided to treat myself with that. And I love it.
I didn’t want to get off my car, because I’m socially awkward, so I went a little out of my way to go to a Starbucks that had a drive through. Funny thing though, if you ever got your windows tinted you know that you’re not supposed to roll down your windows. Well, my little dumb soul forgot SUNDAY NIGHT and YESTERDAY NIGHT at the Starbucks. Like wtf.
Any who, after that unfortunate event, I decide to just park and consume my Starbucks while listening to music. It was actually really relaxing. It was drizzling just a bit which made it perfect. I’m honestly tired of how much it’s been raining though. We live in California, it’s not supposed to rain here. I like the cold not the rain. Would like to live somewhere where it’s hella sunny but at the same time the wind gives you goosebumps. Is there such a place?
I don’t know where I was going with this post. Maybe it wasn’t meant to go anywhere. It’s just me rambling about nonsense. It’s all good though. The night ended very well. So that’s what counts.
It’s Monday. I know, I’m sorry I reminded you. But mine is worse than your’s, hear me out. I woke up today like a usual normal day. (You know, hating the fact that I had to go to work). I did not want to get up at all, so I stayed in bed to an unreasonable time. The thought of going to work made me want to vomit all over myself.
But I got up as soon as I calculated that I had enough time to make it to work even though I stayed in bed as long as I could. I made my lunch, changed, and was in my car maybe five minutes later, if that’s not a world record I don’t know what is.
But get this. THIS was a sign from God. Or destiny or faith or what ever her name is. (Back story info: we have a gate that opens automatically at our home). So while I was trying to pull out of the drive way, the gate would not open. I was pressing the button uncontrollably and very aggressively and that didn’t seem to help. I even got off my car to see if pushing it would help. But I have the strength of a week old bunny so of course nothing happened.
As soon as I got back in my car the door magically decided it was time to open. After making me five minutes late and seeing how I was not going to make it to work on time in only ten minutes I decided to just use sick time and go in work two hours later.
A moment of relief came to me. No work for two hours, what a blessing. So with my time I decided to go to Starbucks because I’m basic as hell. And I wanted to work on my next YouTube video. So check that out.
The time has come though, I have to go to hell. I have 30 minutes to get there and I’m going to try to stretch every second that I came so it becomes longer, but at least on the bright side I wont be at work for that long .
Ok ok ok. Since I have been posting all week might as well continue the streak right? So, today I’ve spent my whole freaking day researching. Yes, researching. Let me tell you why. So I’ve been watching so many YouTube tutorials on how to begin a channel and what you need to know and all that juicy stuff. The one thing that people don’t tell you is that you need to do a lot of before kind of things.
No one tells you that you need to have a good software editing system. No one tells you what type of camera to use. No one tells you what type of laptop to use. Everyone is more like, “this is what I use, this is what I have used in the past, you can use what ever you want.” And if you want to know what the most popular camera or editing software there is you really can’t because they all use something different.
Done with that rant. Any way, I spent my whole day at Starbucks just reading up on YouTube regulations and copyright laws and all that wonderful things. I think that this is the first time I actually sit down and read “Terms and Conditions” before accepting. The amount of time I spent today on this is insane but I’m for sure so into this.
After I noticed that my laptop that I currently own is slower then I am I decided to go get myself in debt and buy a new one. I researched this as well and asked so many questions, I think the guy helping me at best buy was annoyed but he did help a lot. (Shout out to him). I am very happy with the one I purchased. It looks really nice but I hope that it actually works like I want it too.
Oh, another thing I did was I downloaded Instagram and Twitter. I am no social media whore, but if I want my channel to get views and people to see me I need these platforms to grow and expand. (So go follow me! ;} I’ll let you know when I’m finished setting all that up so you can).
Right now I’m at Starbucks again. Don’t worry, its a different one. I set up my laptop which took a while, I’m downloading DaVinci Resolve. It is the best video editor I was able to find that is actually free. I watched some tutorials in the mean time, and I have to say it looks really high end and professional.
Now, for the good stuff. My first video is done. It looks like complete trash, I’m not even going to lie. But hey, its my first video and I really don’t know what I’m doing. You would think that I would delete it and just make something better. But here’s the thing. I really had so much fun filming and editing it. Since its also the very first thing I produce (dang check me out) I want everyone to see where I came from, you know when I make it big, (hahhahaha I’m just kidding). But I think you get what I mean.
That’s all for now. Don’t worry I wont bother you tomorrow with another post. I know I can get a little annoying. I’ll wait till Monday.
I have been letting myself go recently. The past few weeks have been really hectic. I have been up and down and getting ready for my mother’s surgery and then bringing her home after having her at the hospital for a week of recovery.
Having little time and also being tired from going here and there really doesn’t give you the energy to make a healthy homemade meal. So, I’ve been eating out, and when I say eat out I mean eating out. Plus, it does not help when people want to help you out by also feeding you with fast food.
While I was at the hospital for a week with my mom, friends would bring me lunch and it was always something from a fast food place. I didn’t mind at first but now I’m feeling it. My hands, legs, and feet all feel the same to me. But my stomach and man boobs are screaming at me to stop.
Once I was sucked into the world of fast food I couldn’t stop. I didn’t stop. As a matter a fact, just today, I went to the store. While there, I bought three cans in Pringle’s. Why? I didn’t even have a craving for them I just got them because I felt the need to. I bought M&M’s. I had Starbucks. And to top it all off I went to McDonald’s and bought a McChicken sandwich.
I ate all of it myself. I sit here and realizing what I have become. Even now, I just finished two hotdogs. I wasn’t hungry. I was extremely still full. Why did I eat? All of the things I consume is out of satisfaction. Not because I need to eat it and not because I want to, it’s just to satisfy something that I am missing. What am I missing?
I’m not sure.
But what I am sure of is I need to get back to my routine. I need to get back to exercising. I need to get back to eating healthier. I need to find a better way to control my anxiety instead of just eating it.