Today was the last zoom “meeting” we had with our teacher. It was, the ceremony we will never have, because of COVID.
In all honesty it was rather sad and depressing but what can you do about it, this stupid virus go the best of the world this year and it took lives, events, and peoples plans with it.
I am happy that I finished it though. I don’t know if I am happy that I am done with it or that I actually accomplished it, maybe both. Either way its done.
What’s next for me? Well, I still have one more test to pass to get a certain certification but other than that I can start looking for clerical jobs around my area. I still work part time for my internship that hired me, which I am great full for. But, to have a job closer and it be full time would be better.
What will the rest of 2020 bring us? I feel like we’ve seen enough.
I want to live on the beach. Where it’s always warm and sunny and the weather makes you smile by just breathing.
Of course that’s everyone else’s dream as well. Or for the most part, almost everyone. I was talking to a friend, or better said, to many friends that I’m bored of my daily routine. I want change. I want better.
Is it possible? Yes. Will I do it? Who knows, maybe I will but I just don’t have the initiative. What I have noticed is that people who usually get what they want is not because they deserve it. Sure, there are some people that have got what they really deserved.
But life isn’t fair. Life is a fucked up game, and sometimes you have to cheat. Sometimes you hav to do things that you wish you didn’t, but that’s the only way to get ahead. It’s not the way it should be, but it’s never personal it’s business.
I did it again. I know I shouldn’t have but when lonely comes knocking on your door there’s not much you can do except roll out the red carpet and let it in.
So two weeks ago I downloaded tinder. Don’t know why, ‘just cause’ could be a concrete answer really. Since I decided to give up on Love, I went the hoe route. Sleeping with random strangers.
In all honesty, no I don’t feel bad. When had a little fun hurt anyone? Ok maybe not the best example but still.
And hey, I work two jobs, pay all my bills and rent, take care of my family, put food in the fridge, and I’m generally a nice person. So who’s to say I can’t be a hoe once in a while? No one. You try to walk in my shoes see how long you last.
Along with being filthy, I’ve also been going out a lot. Getting closer with a friend. He doesn’t know I’m gay but that never comes up. Nor do I have the need to tell him . Does he know? Does it matter?
Any way this is my 100 post and I was going to do the whole thank you a and what I’ve learned about blogging but I’ll save that for later since I have to save time for hoeing around.
It’s Friday, I have officially made it through yet another week. I have to say I’m proud of myself. I have accomplished a lot, not only this week but throughout life.
I was talking to one of my friends yesterday, she was explaining to me how she thinks she needs to get her life together. I responded with of course “your talking to the wrong person because I don’t have my life together.”
She went on to say that I shouldn’t be thinking that way. She reminded me that I have two jobs and I am paying for the bills and also paying my car. Her exact statement was, “most people still live with their parents but still have the parents pay for the rent, but their food, and drive a 1990’s car, you’re doing good for yourself.”
I have to admit, hearing al that made me feel really good. Like no one is usually tells that I’m doing good. I feel like I’m not doing enough and hearing her say these things makes me feel that I’m doing just enough. I give my all to this one life I was given and it’s really nice when even if it’s just one person, notices.