I Hope Life Treats You Kind

It’s over.

It finally happened.

 

Yesterday my Ex and I finally had the talk. I had been planning all week how to talk to her and I wanted to be as soft as I could but also tell her how I was feeling. She did the same.

She got mad that I got tattoos yesterday which is how everything started. She got mad who I got the tattoos with. She doesn’t like my friends, she thinks they’re turning me into Satan’s child. It came to a point where I told her that if she was unhappy with the way I  was living my life and who I surrounded myself with, then she shouldn’t be in a relationship.

She ended up giving back every little thing that I ever gave her. Notes, balloons, cards, even the mini fridge I gave her for her new place. She didn’t want anything that had to do with me anymore, not because she hated me, but because she wanted to move on from this. She doesn’t want to be reminded with those things of what we had.

That’s cool. This is basically what I wanted, (as cruel as it may sound), and even though it is what I wanted, her presence will still be missed. We ended on really good terms. No fighting, no evil stares, and we even hugged at the end. We’re friends now. We’ll check up on each other from time to time. I have no hard feelings for her and she doesn’t towards me either.

I really want her to be happy. I want her to find someone that will do all the things she needs them to do, and actually like doing them. Someone who thinks that the cult they are in is an actual religion. Someone who will love her the way she deserves to be loved, because she is a great person.

And I want to be happy too. I want to find someone who likes the things I like. Someone who wants to go places I want to go and celebrate holidays like I want to celebrate them. I’m not saying I want an identical twin, no. But at least some things that we can bond over would be nice.

 

I don’t feel sad. I feel like another chapter in my life is closing and a new one is about to begin. Things happen for a reason and it’s up to us to find the bright side in things because life’s job is to challenge us into thinking there isn’t one. But there is.

There always is.

Friday The 13th Tattoos

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As you can see in the picture, I got tattoos. For many, this is not a big deal, and yes I have had gotten some already, but these mean so much more to me.

I have always liked tattoos. Now in the era that we live in it is not uncommon to see people sporting tattoos on their body. The majority of millennial’s have tattoos now.

The first tattoo that I got on my body was on an area that no one see’s, under my shirt on my side shoulder. The next two I got on my arm. Since I was in a cult and this cult did not allow you to have these (tattoos) I always hid them. I even went to the extreme to try to remove them and I spent a lot of money doing so. But, I didn’t completely get rid of them. Which is a good part because I very much still love them. And I will definitely try to recover what I can from them.

Today, one of my friends reminded me that on every Friday the 13th tattoo shops have a special for tattoos. I was debating on weather I wanted to get any or not.

I told myself, no, this is my life (don’t you forget) and my body. You have always liked tattoos.

Getting these tattoos for me represents me finally taking decisions not being scared of what others will say, specially since they are placed in a very see-able place. It means that I have finally taken charge of my life and I am finally am doing what makes me happy and not what makes other people happy. I am finally living for myself and it makes me so happy.

I got a total of three. If I had more money I probably would have gotten way more. I saw some that I liked but I opted for the ones in the picture above. The third one is on my calf and is a Mario star (from Mario Nintendo).

I absolutely love them. They may be simple but the fact that they are spontaneous is what gives me a sense of enjoyment and is thrilling for me. I love where I put them and I think they are hella cute. I posted them online and the feedback I am getting is absolutely wonderful.

I am happy with these choices. I am happy right now, I really am.

: )

Tattoo Removal

I bleeping love tattoos. I always wanted a tattoo when I was younger. I was always afraid to get one. Then when I went to college (yes I did go, it was a blink of an eye moment, but nonetheless I still went), I got my first tattoo. “Brave warrior” right on my left shoulder.

I got inspired by a Demi Lovato lyric. When I heard her song Warrior it spoke to me in the loudest way possible. I feel like I relate to that song so well because I have been through the thickest of mud and the hardest of concrete and I am still here. Sure, bruised, beat up, in pain, but HERE.

The day I got that tattoo, I nearly fainted. Or I did, can’t remember, but the rush was great. I loved it and I have loved it ever since. Then months later I got another tattoo near the crease of my arm/ elbow. In the same area I got another small tattoo in San Fran.

Those tattoos mean the world to me. They mean so much because I got them with friends that I cherish and I look back at those times and I smile because it was honestly one of the best moments in my life.

But sadly. When I went through my “I’m a virgin for God” phase I started the process of getting them removed, and till this day I still do. Even though I am getting them removed that doesn’t mean I regret them. Sounds like hypocrisy but give me a sec to explain.

Even though I go and come back from Church I still feel like getting them removed. Not the one on my shoulder though. That one is staying because it has a special meaning to me that no one can take away.

The process of getting them removed though. OMG. Ok just picture this, and this is as accurate as I can get ok? So lets just say you take a fork, yes a fork, and you go to your stove, the flames are blazing like they are welcoming you into hell, and you lay the fork there for a good ten minutes or so. Then you grab the fork, and start poking at your skin like there’s no freaking tomorrow. That’s how it feels to get a tattoo removed.

Oh, and get this, it gets better, every single time you go back it gets worse. That’s right, its like they left the dam fork an extra minute on the eternal flames of death.

Of course its not an actual fork that they use, its this little tiny cute laser that blasts into your skin. Lovely. It breaks down the ink in your skin so your body can take care of the rest and dispose of the ink when you use the Wiz Palace. It’s actually a beautiful process that lasts just about 3 years.

If you’re lucky enough maybe you had an inexperienced tattoo artist with cheap ink, so then your removal will be a walk in the park. If you went to a good tattoo artist who has amazing Mona Lisa work of arts and has that high end ink derived right from under the throne of Satan, then your walk in the park is going to be a 3 AM, getting mugged and beat up while also getting hit with a stick, then later peed on my a dog, type of walk. Wonderful.

If you want a tattoo just make sure you want that on you for the rest of your life. I know you already heard that a millions times, but I don’t give a dam bro, listen. You remember those dope shoes you bought that were over priced but you just had to have them because you wanted to be “the cool kid”. Or even if that wasn’t you, just picture those shoes or heels (for the ladies, whats up gurl) that you love, now its been years, they smell. They look worn out, they have this weird smell that is concerning, they’re drooping and now instead of “nice kicks man” you get “dang son can’t you afford new shoes?”

That’s a tattoo.


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Life Is Hectic

I have been in a good mood lately. And if you know me you might even say great mood. Things have been all over the place but they haven't been that terrible. I have to start looking at the bigger picture you know. I'm always seeing the down side in things and that just brings me down. I should really start focusing on the positive and give thanks for what I have and what I have accomplished. Possibly even brag a little of what I have done, I mean I deserve to right?

Now, onto my moms results, I got a call from the doctor and she informed me that the test was never made and she ordered it as an emergency. Which usually takes about ten or so days. Hopefully sooner and we can get this ball rolling. But I'm thankful the problem is being resolved. It's progress.

Three months ago I had 300 dollars stolen from my credit card and it's been a hassle trying to fix the issue with the bank of the credit card. And after moths of faxing paperwork and trying to get my money back today was the day of success. They fixed the issue and I should get those 300 bucks back by next Wednesday. Maybe that's why I'm in a good mood?

Today I went to my sixth treatment for my tattoo removal. It hurt like a bitch! I mean it always does but I forget. They had a knew laser. Something about heat. The one I was using before was also a laser but it was different. My tattoo is being stubborn. It doesn't even seem to be fading. Props to the tattoo artist. Respect. So children if you get tattoos remember it's going to be a pain in the ass removing them once you regret it.


I know it looks terrible but that's how it's supposed to look like, all swelled up and nasty.

In other news, yesterday I went to apply to a customer service operator job. One of my coworkers used to work there and she said she could refer me to the manager. That was cool of her. Although they aren't hiring at the moment they said they would call me first as to when they would start.

But get this, I got called from Bakers (fast food chain) for an interview. Torn, because I don't know if I should go or not. I don't know until when I'll be called for the answering service job. What if it's months? Weeks? I need a job now. I'm going to go and see how it goes.

I also told my brother to start studying for the DMV written test, mainly so he could drive to school but also so he can get motivated to get a job and help around the house. It seemed to work as he's studying right now and I didn't have to force him. School starts for him two weeks from today so I know he's not going to have a license by then but hopefully soon.

That's all that went down this week. Life is hectic, why should I stay in a rut? I'm going to start seeing the best of things, just watch.